Why I Went Outside And Then Didn’t Come Back In For A Little While

One cat’s existential introspection.

I must kill this bug, or at least stare it down as it is no doubt trying to intimidate me. Frans of Sweden / Via Flickr: brofors_francisco

There is this clear section of the wall, and at random times when I am awake I realize that somehow this section of the wall emits heat. This is nice, I generally think to myself. I often nap in the heat generated by this part of the wall, and at other times I like to sit in front of it and watch it because every now and then something behind the wall moves. But I cannot touch these moving things, no matter how hard I try. The clear cannot be breached by mere claws alone, I often remind myself. But I know that there are things beyond this, because I see movement sometimes.

This bug is on the other side, taunting me. I will stare at it until it goes away, like I do every time a bug wants to play this game. I have days and even minutes at my disposal, and have never been bested by a bug.

I watched the swinging wall incessantly as I waited for some sort of sign that it would move again. I knew the human would probably come back the way it came, I calmly reminded myself, and the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why the human would venture beyond this place because that sounds like a lot of trouble. What was beyond that wall that caused the human to venture out but then return, I asked myself. Sometimes, the human would come back with another human! Or simply alone, but with bags of gifts for me. There is no sense to be made of this, I concluded to myself, but it seems that strange things happen in that place beyond the wall.

Well the wall was open, so I took a closer peek to see what was out there. I poked my head out, peered around nonchalantly (even though I was starting to feel slightly anxious), and before I knew it I was slowly treading into this strange but exciting unknown. But then something moved in the distance, hidden from plain view by this extremely tall green carpet I found myself submerged in.

The only good thing about this carpet was that it was pretty tasty when it would get into my mouth by accident. Energetic Spirit / Via Flickr: nperlapro

As I calculated my next move, this green stuff kept tickling my whiskers and getting into my mouth. Fortunately, it was actually kind of tasty and pretty fun to chew, I thought to myself. So I did that for while and decided that I could investigate that other movement later. Is this what the humans leave the house world for? Tastier carpet? Not as good for my claws, I told myself, but I can see the merit. After a while of this, I considered going inside because I knew the human would probably be wanting attention before too long, but it made sense that I shouldn’t return empty handed. After all, nearly every time the humans re-enters the house world, they bring either a bag or box for me to play in. I decided I would do the same for them, because they were pretty good humans and I didn’t mind them so much, I said to myself.

As I thought long and hard about what I was going to bring back, I heard the human call out my name. Good, I was hoping they knew I was out of the house so they would not worry about me. They kept calling, which made me think to myself that they knew I wasn’t in the house. With this in mind, I decided to stretch out on the grass and take a quick nap. It was a good nap, and afterwards, I saw the moving thing from earlier I think. It was unlike anything I had ever seen back in the house. Small, furry, with a long strange looking tail. It kept scurrying about, which I absolutely cannot stand, so I captured it and bit it until it stopped. This would probably make a pretty good gift, I said to myself, so I picked it up in my mouth and started heading back to the house.

The door was open, so I carried in my gift and set it near where the human usually sleeps. This was a good idea, I told myself. Not just the gift, but the entire experience. I learned what exists outside the confines of the walls in which I usually bask, I reflected to myself, and realize that nothing really changes except that I kind of want some more of that green carpet now. Perhaps one day, I’ll go back.

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