The 17 Most Basic Birds In America

Look: woodpeckers are cool and all, but these guys barely count as woodpeckers. I mean, look at that tiny beak!

Sure, they're blue. But they're also loud and mean as hell.

These jerks will scare all the other birds away from your feeders. Ugh.

The females don't even have the splash of red. UGH.

While grosbeaks are moderately more colorful than house finches, they're just kinda "meh."

Not a bad effort with the patches of white on the cheeks, but still just dull and uninspired.

Yellow eyebrows? REALLY?

Mourning doves. Ugh that's so pretentious. You're a glorified pigeon.

LOOK AT THIS GUY. JUST LOOK AT HIM.

"CATBIRD" WTF

You can't see them, but this cardinal is wearing tiny Uggs.

Your shiny green head does not make up for all the annoying poop you leave on pond shores, Mister Mallard.

"Hello, I will wake you up at sunrise every morning with my annoying song."

Not only are they everywhere on the coasts but THEY ARE SUCH TOTAL JERKS.

So drab and boring. GET SOME FASHION SENSE, SPARROW.

CANADA IS SUPPOSED TO BE NICE BUT CANADA GEESE ARE SO MEAN.

Obviously.