2. How Americans Live Today!
3. Buying Guns To Kill Each Other, Especially Children!
4. Everyone Is A Drug Addict!
5. Because Houses Blow Away In The Wind, People Live In Tents!
6. The Tents Collapse All The Time, So The Red Cross Provides Curtains And Supplies Donated From North Korea!
7. There Are No Birds In The Trees, Because Americans Have Killed Them All To Make Soup!
8. The Government Subsidizes Meals Of Hot Snow, For Which Americans Are Grateful!
9. Another Staple Of American Diets: Coffee Made Of Snow!
10. Because It Snows All The Time, The Poor, The Cold, The Lonely, And The Homosexual Huddle Together For Warmth!
11. Thank Goodness For The Generous North Korean Camera Crew, Who Gave These Poor Americans Cake!
- Today's the final day of the Democratic National Convention — Hillary Clinton is preparing for the biggest night of her life 🇺🇸
- Amazon's in its Prime. The company's profit rose 831% this quarter thanks to its growing cloud computing business ☁️💸
- #TBT: Old-school MTV is returning Aug. 1 with shows like "Daria," "Beavis & Butt-Head," "Cribs," and "Punk'd" 📺 🙌