What Your Mum Says Vs What She Actually Means

"I thought you might like these jeans."

1. "Would you like to come over for dinner on Sunday?"

AMC / dontyouwishyouhadsomemore.blogspot.co.uk

What she actually means: "You're coming over for dinner on Sunday."

2. "I never got into trouble like that when I was in school."

ABC / fymodernfamily.tumblr.com

ABC / fymodernfamily.tumblr.com

What she actually means: "Because I never got caught, suckers. Lol."

3. "I never smoked when I was your age."

Showtime / becomingadorrable.com

What she actually means: "I never smoked cigarettes at your age. Lol."

4. "Do you want to take a sweater?"

Cosby Show / yumidirect.co.uk

What she actually meant: "You're going to freeze your tits off. Take. The. Sweater."

5. "I just need to run in and exchange this shirt."

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What she actually means: "I need to exchange this shirt, but then find a replacement, and I probably didn't bring the receipt, so this is actually going to take like, an hour. Oh wait, is there a sale on? Need to look at that too. Soz."

6. "He always seemed like such a nice guy."

ABC / tvfanatic.com

What she actually means: "I could tell he was an asshole immediately."

7. "When I met your dad, things moved pretty fast, too."

Paramount Pictures

What she actually means: "You were conceived in the back of a Ford Escort before we were married."

8. "Did you get my friend request on Facebook?"

FOX

What she actually means: "I know you're ignoring me. ADD ME."

9. "Do you ever hear from Simon any more?"

HBO / uproxx.com

What she actually means: "YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BROKEN UP WITH SIMON, YOU FOOL."

10. "Do you ever hear from Gemma any more?"

WB

What she actually means: "Gemma was such a shit friend. Please tell me you never talk to her."

11. "Do you have a blog website?"

giphy.com

What she actually means: "I've found your secret Tumblr and read it on the regular."

12. "Your sister showed me some pictures on Facebook."

NBC / wallstcheatsheet.com

What she actually means: "I just hacked into your Facebook account and stalked everyone you know. I KNOW ALL."

13. "That Beyoncé really knows her stuff."

Cartoon Network / youtube.com

What she actually means: "I get down to 'Yoncé' while I'm driving."

14. "I'm thinking about visiting on your birthday."

ABC / lobablanca.com

What she actually means: "I have already booked my tickets so cancel all of your plans lol."

15. "You were too good for him."

WB

What she actually means: "I know exactly how you feel. And you really were too good for him."

16. When she sends you this in a text:

iemoji.com

What she actually means: "Can you call me, please? Also, I've discovered emojis."

17. "All sexuality is fluid."

ABC / funny-pictures.picphotos.net

What she actually means: "Boy, do I have a story about my youth that you're never going to want to hear!"

18. "Do you want a lift?"

thejetsons.wikia.com

What she actually means: "You're running hideously late. Hurry up."

19. "That's a really nice outfit. Are you sure you don't want a coat?"

ABC / the-addams-family-60s.tumblr.com

What she actually means: "Take this cagoule or else you'll get soaked wet through within five minutes. TRUST ME."

20. "Have you been in touch with your brother?"

WB

What she actually means: "WHERE IS HE WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM IN LIKE A MONTH."

21. "I'm having some problems with my mobile."

Fox / soundonsight.org

What she actually means: "Please book a ticket home so you can change my phone background immediately."

22. "I thought you might like these jeans."

SNL / Giphy

What she actually means: "I bought these jeans for myself and they didn't fit so now they're yours."

23. "Everything is going to be fine. Call me if you need anything."

HBO / giphy.com

What she actually means. "Everything is going to be fine. I also know that when you call me you're going to ask for money."