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27 Things Everyone Who Has Gone To Therapy Will Understand

"How does that make you feel?" Well, I don't know, that's literally why I'm paying you.

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1. Before your first appointment, you are nervous as fuck.

Especially if this is your first time going to therapy, you don't know what to expect. Will you vomit the first time you open your mouth? Sob for 45 minutes straight? WHO KNOWS. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN THERAPY.

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9. Sometimes they ask you to explain shit that you have no words to describe or explain.

I JUST DON'T KNOW, OK?

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15. Or when you make a throwaway comment about never really liking your grandmother much and they write that down.

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Wait, I didn't mean that. Or at least I don't think I did. Did I? WHY DID YOU WRITE THAT DOWN?

16. You spend a lot of time staring at the bland items they've used to furnish their office.

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Like the rug you stare at when you're avoiding eye contact while talking about your dad.

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19. You also stare a lot at the coat they've hung up somewhere in the office, like it's a clue to who they are in real life.

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I bet your favourite drink is white wine, and that your favourite drunk food is a McDonald's happy meal.

20. You also speculate a lot about your therapist's personal life. If they're single, or if they have any pets. But most important, if they talk about you at the pub with their friends.

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24. You wonder about your therapist's other patients, and if there's anyone with similar issues who you could be friends with.

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Or if there are other patients they like better than you, or if you're the best one. (It matters.)

("Why does it matter?")

("Because I need you to like me the best.")

("Is this because your parents had high expectations of you as a child?")

("PROBABLY.")

26. And you've definitely checked Tinder in the waiting room, increasing the chances that you'll meet someone totally normal.

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"So how did you guys meet?"

"Well, so there I was, just waiting for my therapy appointment, minding my own business..."

27. But ultimately, even though it can be rough and awkward AF, it is nice to have someone to talk to.

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I mean, sure, you have to pay them and you don't always like what they have to say – but you know you're doing the right thing for yourself.

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