Your Life In Palm Beach (as Explained By Palm Beach Dogs)

Sun, shopping, and so much wealth. Woof.

1. First of all, walking down Worth Avenue is for plebians.

2. You can stroll…

They see me strollin’…. they hatin’….

3. Or have someone carry you.

4. Whatever your method of transportation, you must wear your finest pearls when shopping.

Look at that smile, Sophia Lauren (her real name) knows she’s got it good.

5. Need designer duds? Pucci & Catana has outfits for all occasions…

Holiday Pawty!

She obviously chose P&C’s “Flower Child” look.

6. Saks will be waiting with bottled water for your bowl.

Free bones upon arrival? Yes, please.

7. And five-star restaurants will cater to your every need.

8. Warning: Five-star restaurant means five-star dress.

9. Post-lunch cocktails are the norm. Who waits till 5:00?

10. No one goes to just one bar. I mean, you have to be seen places.

11. But you’ll have to work off that booze in order to fit into those designer outfits you just bought.

12. No one works out without going to the spa afterwards. Thistle paw soak, please.

“Did you see the condition of her paws? Just terrible.”

13. Because you’ll need to look good for your photo session.

14. If they’re good photos, maybe you’ll get featured in the PB magazines, like CHAMPAGNE and BUBBLES MARTIN.

P.S. - Yes, the magazine costs $20.00. But you’re in Palm Beach. That’s just Kibble.

15. Exhausted, you socialite? Time to head back to the hotel. Luxury unleashed, indeed.

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