1. Picking your nose.
2. And eating it.
3. Singing along to your music, badly.
4. Singing along in tune to your music but then clearly expecting someone to compliment you.
5. Breaking up with your boyfriend but not doing it loudly enough so that the whole carriage can hear.
6. Standing way too close to someone and smushing against them even though there's plenty of room.
7. Standing in the doorway when someone is trying to get out.
8. Holding the doors open for a friend.
9. Not giving up your seat to someone who needs it more.
10. Not helping someone out when they’re sick.
11. Not letting a kid sit next to their mum.
12. Bitching about your friend on the phone but leaving out all of the juicy details.
13. Putting your bag on the chair next to you.
14. Eating yummy food and not sharing with the people around you.
15. Not bringing your dog on the train with you.
17. Denying that manspreading is a very real thing on trains.
18. Eating anything a little bit fishy.
19. Sneezing and then putting your hand back on the handle.
20. Pressing the button to open the doors before the light comes on.
21. And not pressing the button immediately after the light comes on.
22. Reading over someone’s shoulder.
23. Watching something on your phone without subtitles so the person behind you can’t understand what’s going on.
24. Clipping your nails.
25. Standing against a rail that someone could really do with holding on to.
26. Not re-enacting the scene from Harry Potter where Harry buys out the whole trolley when the steward comes round.
27. Spending an obscene amount of money on a ridiculously dry train sandwich.
28. Playing your music really loud, when it's not even good.
29. Telling women to smile.
30. Quirky messages in the train loos that say “don’t flush your ex-boyfriend down the toilet tehe”.
32. Complaining about someone doing their makeup on the train as if you’re not blessed to witness the artistry.