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22 Questions I Have About "Teletubbies" Now That I’m An Adult

It's a lot darker than you remember.

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1. What actually are they? How are the related? Are they friends or family?

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2. What about a baby trapped in a sun do children like?

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3. What even is this?

4. What do their head symbols mean?

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5. Are they the deathly hallows?

6. Who comes up with these ideas?

7. When the voice trumpets rise from the ground are they farting?

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8. What does tubby custard and tubby toast taste like?

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9. How does a solid diet of tubby custard and toast sustain the Teletubbies through all their antics?

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10. Why don't the wild rabbits not scarper when the Tubbies dance around?

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11. Speaking of the rabbits? Why are there only rabbits and no other wildlife?

12. With this fucked up food chain and ecosystem, how are the rabbits not over breeding and running the place?

With no predators the Teletubbies should have been wading through rabbit droppings and baby bunnies.
BBC / bbc.co.uk

With no predators the Teletubbies should have been wading through rabbit droppings and baby bunnies.

13. Are they being held captive? Because they can actually only communicate with the outside would through their telly tummies.

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14. Is the baby sun holding them captive?

CBeebies / BuzzFeed

15. Or is it whoever was behind the voice trumpets?

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16. Does the fan that spews pink glitter release a psychedelic which causes the "magical event"?

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17. What has Noo Noo done to anger the Teletubbies? What aren't we told about his criminal past?

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18. Is the show a statement about our connection to media because they have media embedded in their anatomy?

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19. What long term, damaging effects has being wired into technology had physically and psychologically on the Teletubbies?

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20. Are the Tiddlytubbies the Teletubbie's actual offspring? If so, which Teletubbies did the dirty to make which Tiddlytubby?

In 2015 Teletubbies introduced the Tiddlytubbies, which are tiny baby versions of themselves.
CBeebies / BuzzFeed

In 2015 Teletubbies introduced the Tiddlytubbies, which are tiny baby versions of themselves.

21. Or has the show gone sci-fi and are they raising a younger version of them to revolt against their captor?

22. Is the Teletubbies actually an Orwellian nightmare designed to seep into children's subconscious and teach them about the silent class we all serve through mindlessly watching the TV?

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