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[first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end.
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During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.
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Nurse: What happened to your FINGERS? Me: You know those chefs who cut up vegetables real fast? N: Yes? M: I can't do that.
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ME: scalpel NURSE: scalpel M: sclissors N: scissors M: neeble N: are u sure u should operate on ur own brain M: *nods head diagonally* toast