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Choose Some Dad Things And We'll Tell You A Dad Joke

No one does jokes like dads.

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  1. CHOOSE A CELEBRITY DAD
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    Neil Patrick-Harris
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    Channing Tatum
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    Will Smith
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    Jay Z
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    John Cho
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    Via Getty Images
    Mark Consuelos
    Via Getty Images
  2. CHOOSE SOME SENSIBLE SHOES
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    Via Clarks
    Via Clarks
  3. CHOOSE A NICKNAME TO CALL ANYONE YOUNGER THAN YOU
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    SPORT
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    LIL' MAN
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    YOUNG ONE
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    COOL DUDE
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    KIDDO
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    BUDDY
  4. CHOOSE AN AWKWARD WAY TO SHOW AFFECTION
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    Tell them about your most embarrassing moment.
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    Give them a firm handshake and pat on the back.
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    Take a vague interest in the interests of the other person but get everything wrong.
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    Scruff up their hair.
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    Tell them a fact about something you heard on the radio.
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    Offer them a hug but make it too long.
  5. CHOOSE A CHAIR TO GET TERRITORIAL OVER
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    Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images
  6. CHOOSE SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
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    The weather
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    The future
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    The football result
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    The past
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    Reality TV
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    The cost of jeans
  7. CHOOSE A CLASSIC SONG TO BADLY DANCE TO
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    Dexys Midnight Runners - "Come On Eileen"
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    Rihanna - "SOS"
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    UB40 - "Red Red Wine"
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    Whitney Houston - "I'm Every Woman"
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    Cher - "Believe"
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    Dolly Parton - "9 to 5"
  8. CHOOSE A PRACTICAL GIFT
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    Tool kit
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    Duct tape
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    Warm hat
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    Squeegee
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    Washing line
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    Baking tray
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  9. CHOOSE A DAD INSULT
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    "Ok, grumpy guts"
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    "Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning"
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    "Ooo look what the cat dragged in."
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    "Cheer up, it may never happen."
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    *Farts* "Was that you?"
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    "You wouldn't know, you've had it easy."
  10. CHOOSE SOMETHING TO FIX THAT DOESN'T NEED FIXING
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    The kettle
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    The washing machine
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    The door hinge
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    The taps
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    The oven
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    Via Getty Images
    This vase
    Via Getty Images
  11. CHOOSE SOME LIFE ADVICE
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    Don’t make decisions when you’re angry. Don’t make promises when you’re happy.
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    If you blame it on someone else, don’t expect it to get better.
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    Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out how to get someone to pay you to do it.
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    Live life to the fullest because you may not have it tomorrow.
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    Rather go to bed supperless than run in debt for a breakfast.
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    The best cure for a short temper is a long walk.
 
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