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    24 Childish Jokes That Will Make You Think "Okay I Might Need To Mature A Bit"

    "[alphabet naming committee] Okay what comes after O and P? Let's just do O and P again but give em dicks"

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    Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.

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    *job interview* Wonka: Any questions? Oompa Loompa: So we just go out and start singing whenever a kid dies?

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    "Julie, I've accidentally done a salmon again."

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    "He eating my shit and you just going watching taking photos?"

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    ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man $300 - works out $200 - smart $400 - smells nice $70 - has a job $10 - is a mouse named stuart $5 - owns a red convertible $500 - over 6 feet tall

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    Killer: any last words before I shoot Me: mmm watcha say

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    I went out of town for a few days and came home to my dog who seems to want to have a word with me about it.

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    “Hit it Fergie” ALLTHETIMEITURNAROUND BROTHERSGATHERROUND ALWAYSLOOKINGATMEUPANDDOWNLOOKINGATMY

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    me whispering into my green tea after taking one sip: ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᶠᶦˣ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗᶦʳᵉ ˡᶦᶠᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍʳᵒˢˢ ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ... ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶦ ᵇᵉᵍ

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    [alphabet naming committee] okay what comes after O and P let's just do O and P again but give em dicks

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    Not a fan of the new Harry Potter book

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    It's been 16 years and I still can't believe how the fuck they managed to sneak Scooby Doo on a plane in this disguise https://t.co/CuLpiRA9N6

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