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British Kids TV Vs American Kids TV

British TV is much, much darker.

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1. In America, there were cute teenage romances like Cory and Topanga's in Boy Meets World.

ABC

Meanwhile in Britain, Tracy Beaker kissed Wilson by the bog while Justine Littlewood watched.

CBBC

2. In America, TV for little kids was wholesome and educational.

PBS

But in Britain, kids watched trippy dancing blobs that were controversially accused of promoting cults.

ITV

The BoohBahs were honestly so trippy.

3. In America, kids were taught to listen and be respectful of each other via a big purple dinosaur.

PBS

In Britain, the TV taught children to get physical revenge on the adults in their lives by literally dunking them in gunge.

CBBC

4. In America, a talking aardvark lived a lovely pure life with his friends and learnt a lot along the way.

PBS

In Britain, a middle-aged man lived a kind of pathetic life talking to his rodents and eating mashed potato.

CBBC

5. In America, a teenage girl lived the dream as an undercover superstar.

Disney

Meanwhile, kids in Britain did not live the dream and pretended they were evacuated in World War II.

CBBC

6. In America, two kids got to live in a fancy hotel causing lots of mischief.

Disney

Weirdly in Britain, every weekend a group of kids would go round to a bungalow to play with two grown men in "creamy creamy muck muck".

CBBC

7. In America, there were schools where the kids would sing and dance all day in order to fulfil their dreams of stardom.

Nickelodeon

Unfortunately in Britain, there were schools where kids were honestly just trying to make it through their tragic lives and pass their GCSEs.

CBBC

8. In America, a cute girl pretended to be a vampire and catch bad guys.

YTV

Whereas in Britain, a bunch of teens went looking for UFOs and ended up in a freaky government conspiracy.

CBBC

9. In America, there was The Mickey Mouse Club, where tiny celebrities would enthusiastically perform your favourite songs.

Disney

And in Britain there was Byker Grove, which was a different kind of club entirely, one that included drug abuse, pregnancy, and a whole lot of joyriding.

CBBC

10. In America, they had wizards learning to harness their magic powers, which would land them into some hilarious situations.

Disney

In Britain, there was a magic tiny replica car called Brum that contributed heavily to global warming with its excessive revving.

CBeebies

11. In America, Dora the Explorer took you on adventures and taught you Spanish.

Nickelodeon

And in Britain, two sentient puppets took you on a tour of British canals and gave off weird incest vibes.

ITV