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The INDISPUTABLE Ranking Of The Most Bangeable World Cup Players From Each Country

Buzzfeed recently made a list of the hottest world cup players from each country, but two girls were not satisfied by this mediocre list. These girls are experts because their sole purpose in watching the World Cup (and in life) is to fawn over these hunky walls of man muscle. They may or may not have already planned their joint wedding to Gerard Piqué.

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BRAZIL- Oscar

I have no idea if Oscar is his first name or his last name or whatever, but I do know that this boy is cuter than a teacup pig. And that's saying a lot.
how2update.info

I have no idea if Oscar is his first name or his last name or whatever, but I do know that this boy is cuter than a teacup pig. And that's saying a lot.

'nuff said.
soccerhotness.com

'nuff said.

MEXICO- Raúl Jiménez

Why don't you just sharpen a knife with those perfect cheekbones and stab it into my heart, Raúl? Because that's basically how I feel when I look at a picture of you.
wordpress.com

Why don't you just sharpen a knife with those perfect cheekbones and stab it into my heart, Raúl? Because that's basically how I feel when I look at a picture of you.

Olympic rings? I have another type of ring in mind, Raúl. Put it on me.
blogger.com

Olympic rings? I have another type of ring in mind, Raúl. Put it on me.

CROATIA- Vedran Corluka

His facial expression screams, "I'm mysterious. And you'll never be able to understand anything I'm saying, which only makes me more mysterious."
tablesleague.com

His facial expression screams, "I'm mysterious. And you'll never be able to understand anything I'm saying, which only makes me more mysterious."

THIS FACE IS SO CUTE IT HURTS I have to move on to the next post now, I can't take the pain.
sportski.net.hr

THIS FACE IS SO CUTE IT HURTS I have to move on to the next post now, I can't take the pain.

CAMEROON- Joel Matip

Look at that smile. LOOK AT IT.
wordpress.com

Look at that smile. LOOK AT IT.

I can't tell if he's being sassy or sexy here, but either way, I can dig it.
laststicker.com

I can't tell if he's being sassy or sexy here, but either way, I can dig it.

NETHERLANDS- Michael Vorm

Between the coiffed hair, the slight stubble, and the fact that he's licking his lips, I am unsure how to react to this picture other than fainting so I probably won't finish this sente
e0.365dm.com

Between the coiffed hair, the slight stubble, and the fact that he's licking his lips, I am unsure how to react to this picture other than fainting so I probably won't finish this sente

"Ladies, settle down. There's more than enough of me to go around."
southwales-eveningpost.co.uk

"Ladies, settle down. There's more than enough of me to go around."

CHILE- Miiko Albornoz

ngowirngrowgknrwgjowrngwrge
blu.stb.s-msn.com

ngowirngrowgknrwgjowrngwrge

RUN TO ME YOU BEAUTIFUL THING. RUN TO ME WITH OPEN ARMS.
img.emol.com

RUN TO ME YOU BEAUTIFUL THING. RUN TO ME WITH OPEN ARMS.

AUSRTALIA- Mathew Leckie

It's really too bad that Australia's been knocked out already, I'm gonna miss this one.
cdn.newadnetwork.com

It's really too bad that Australia's been knocked out already, I'm gonna miss this one.

"I'm the #1 hottest guy on the Australian team! Go me!"
www2.pictures.zimbio.com

"I'm the #1 hottest guy on the Australian team! Go me!"

SPAIN- Gerard Piqué

I actually take personal offense to the fact that Piqué was not named Spain's hottest footballer on Buzzfeed's list. In what world is ANY PERSON AT ALL hotter than Piqué? Not this world. Not this one.
blogger.com

I actually take personal offense to the fact that Piqué was not named Spain's hottest footballer on Buzzfeed's list. In what world is ANY PERSON AT ALL hotter than Piqué? Not this world. Not this one.

Why bother holding your shirt up with your teeth, Gerard? No one wants your shirt on. Seriously. You know what, just go ahead and burn all of the shirts you own because NO ONE WANTS YOU TO WEAR SHIRTS
blogger.com

Why bother holding your shirt up with your teeth, Gerard? No one wants your shirt on. Seriously. You know what, just go ahead and burn all of the shirts you own because NO ONE WANTS YOU TO WEAR SHIRTS

There are no words so I'm not even going to try on this one
imalbum.aufeminin.com

There are no words so I'm not even going to try on this one

COLOMBIA- James Rodriguez

What I wouldn't give to cop a feel on those pecs. That's what he's doing, right? No?
www3.pictures.zimbio.com

What I wouldn't give to cop a feel on those pecs. That's what he's doing, right? No?

James smells his own clothes on the daily because that's just how great his musk smells.
lh5.googleusercontent.com

James smells his own clothes on the daily because that's just how great his musk smells.

IVORY COAST- Serge Aurier

I'm SERGE-ing with desire for himWow that was such a bad pun and I apologize
d9hblenkye35w.cloudfront.net

I'm SERGE-ing with desire for him

Wow that was such a bad pun and I apologize

Rumor has it Serge can make girls faint on the spot by giving them this fierce look
e0.365dm.com

Rumor has it Serge can make girls faint on the spot by giving them this fierce look

JAPAN- Eiji Kawashima

This adorable goalkeeper may not let you score on the field, but maybe he'll let you score into his HEART
goldsea.com

This adorable goalkeeper may not let you score on the field, but maybe he'll let you score into his HEART

Eiji will be back, his planet needs him.
fifa.com

Eiji will be back, his planet needs him.

GREECE- Orestis Karnezis

Can we ORESTis him for being too cute? That was the last bad pun I swear I'll never do it again
tumblr.com

Can we ORESTis him for being too cute? That was the last bad pun I swear I'll never do it again

o-REST-is your eyes on the beauty that is Orestis Karnezis.Okay I swear THAT pun was the last. You have my word.
data1.whicdn.com

o-REST-is your eyes on the beauty that is Orestis Karnezis.

Okay I swear THAT pun was the last. You have my word.

COSTA RICA- Patrick Pemberton

Okay seriously, what is it with goalkeepers and being impossibly beautiful? LOOK AT THAT BONE STRUCTURE. JUST LOOK AT IT AND KEEP LOOKING AT IT.
aldia.cr

Okay seriously, what is it with goalkeepers and being impossibly beautiful? LOOK AT THAT BONE STRUCTURE. JUST LOOK AT IT AND KEEP LOOKING AT IT.

ITALY- Claudio Marchisio

no. NO. NONONONO do you understand that this face is now OUT of the World Cup? Why is elimination based on athletic skill and not degree of hotness?
images6.fanpop.com

no. NO. NONONONO do you understand that this face is now OUT of the World Cup? Why is elimination based on athletic skill and not degree of hotness?

Look at this- those glasses are so stupid and yet he looks so bang-eable.
fashiontimes.it

Look at this- those glasses are so stupid and yet he looks so bang-eable.

HOW

URUGUAY- Edinson Cavani

Normally that hair would be an automatic elimination (from my list, not the World Cup, I don't think) but Edinson rocks the flow
premiershipticketsonline.com

Normally that hair would be an automatic elimination (from my list, not the World Cup, I don't think) but Edinson rocks the flow

WUT

ENGLAND- Steven Gerrard

That smolder and classy getup is reminiscent of James Bond. I'd like to BOND myself to him if ya know what I mean okay seriously I'm sorry that was such a stretch
diski24.com

That smolder and classy getup is reminiscent of James Bond. I'd like to BOND myself to him if ya know what I mean okay seriously I'm sorry that was such a stretch

And this is how happy I would be if Steven loved me.
capolista.info

And this is how happy I would be if Steven loved me.

FRANCE- Olivier Giroud

It is illegal to be that hot. We'll just have to put him in handcuffs. He doesn't need those to play soccer anyway
chadascin.co

It is illegal to be that hot. We'll just have to put him in handcuffs. He doesn't need those to play soccer anyway

Like seriously, he did this and it was still somehow really, really hot.
pinterest.com

Like seriously, he did this and it was still somehow really, really hot.

SWITZERLAND- Fabian Schaer

Who knew a hoodie could look so sexy? However, it would look much sexier if it was on the floor.
raiffeisen.ch$FILE/FabianSch%C3%A4r_300.jpg

Who knew a hoodie could look so sexy? However, it would look much sexier if it was on the floor.

Fabian is picking up on my hints. No shirts allowed here. Ball that crap up and throw it away for good.
alyceparis.com

Fabian is picking up on my hints. No shirts allowed here. Ball that crap up and throw it away for good.

ECUADOR- Gabriel Achilier

My ACHILIERs-heel is Gabriel Achilier.Did you seriously think the puns were over?
www2.pictures.zimbio.com

My ACHILIERs-heel is Gabriel Achilier.

Did you seriously think the puns were over?

Why yes, hello
elpajareo.com

Why yes, hello

HONDURAS- Victor Bernardez

Only Victor can look hot while cleaning out his ears on a soccer field
wordpress.com

Only Victor can look hot while cleaning out his ears on a soccer field

This is kind of scary but weirdly enough I'm digging it
company.co.uk

This is kind of scary but weirdly enough I'm digging it

ARGENTINA- Ezequiel Lavezzi

Be cuter, Ezequiel, I dare you.
static.foxsports.com

Be cuter, Ezequiel, I dare you.

Jesus Christ.No seriously, there's a tattoo of Jesus on his chest. But jokes aside, Jesus Christ this man is hot.
cdn4.celebrityhairstylez.com

Jesus Christ.

No seriously, there's a tattoo of Jesus on his chest. But jokes aside, Jesus Christ this man is hot.

IRAN- Daniel Davari

Surprise, surprise. Another ridiculously hot goalkeeper. I have never wanted to score so badly.
wallpaperseries.com

Surprise, surprise. Another ridiculously hot goalkeeper. I have never wanted to score so badly.

He is staring into my soul please help
tumblr.com

He is staring into my soul please help

NIGERIA- John Obi Mikel

Tried really hard to come up with a pun for this one but failed. I'm sure you're all thrilled
db3.stb.s-msn.com

Tried really hard to come up with a pun for this one but failed. I'm sure you're all thrilled

Just John flying off of the soccer field since he is an angelic being and has that power yeah
i.telegraph.co.uk

Just John flying off of the soccer field since he is an angelic being and has that power yeah

BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA- Emir Spahic

Hey dere.
backstage.ba

Hey dere.

Just Emir performing telekinesis on a soccer ball
static.klix.ba

Just Emir performing telekinesis on a soccer ball

GERMANY- Erik Durm

Because Germany plays the US today (when I wrote this), it was really hard for me to admit that any of the German players were hot but ERIK I WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR YOU
hdwallpapersfootball.com

Because Germany plays the US today (when I wrote this), it was really hard for me to admit that any of the German players were hot but ERIK I WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR YOU

"Oh dang, I forgot my shirt again."Seriously Erik, it's okay. I forgive you. We all do.
s7.postimg.org

"Oh dang, I forgot my shirt again."

Seriously Erik, it's okay. I forgive you. We all do.

UNITED STATES- Kyle Beckerman

BREAKING NEWS- IT IS POSSIBLE FOR DREADS TO LOOK EXCEEDINGLY ATTRACTIVE
mlssoccer.com

BREAKING NEWS- IT IS POSSIBLE FOR DREADS TO LOOK EXCEEDINGLY ATTRACTIVE

This logically makes no sense but Kyle looks hot in a suit and dreads with a soccer ball. Like, hot. REALLY. HOT.
thedenimkit.com

This logically makes no sense but Kyle looks hot in a suit and dreads with a soccer ball. Like, hot. REALLY. HOT.

GHANA- Asamoah Gyan

When are you GHANA give me some Asa-MOAH of Asamoah?Did that even make sense? Or do those puns only work in my head? Whatever
blogger.com

When are you GHANA give me some Asa-MOAH of Asamoah?

Did that even make sense? Or do those puns only work in my head? Whatever

Asamoah gettin' real upset that he and I will never be together I feel ya bro
i.telegraph.co.uk

Asamoah gettin' real upset that he and I will never be together I feel ya bro

PORTUGAL- Miguel Veloso

That's right. Miguel is hotter than Cristiano Ronaldo (who looks like he should be a cast member on the Jersey Shore).
www3.pictures.zimbio.com

That's right. Miguel is hotter than Cristiano Ronaldo (who looks like he should be a cast member on the Jersey Shore).

Can I be your PortuGAL, Miguel?I ain't even sorry.
eurofootballweb.com

Can I be your PortuGAL, Miguel?

I ain't even sorry.

BELGIUM- Nacer Chadli

How? HOW!??!
This is even worse than the last picture. Thank God I'm almost at the end of this post because I really cannot handle this anymore
chunk.ie

This is even worse than the last picture. Thank God I'm almost at the end of this post because I really cannot handle this anymore

KOREA REPUBLIC- Yun Sukyoung

Because he's cute I will try to get past the fact that his name sounds like "Young Suck Young" because that kind of scares me a little
www3.pictures.zimbio.com

Because he's cute I will try to get past the fact that his name sounds like "Young Suck Young" because that kind of scares me a little

Bonus points for flexibility?
qpr.co.uk

Bonus points for flexibility?

RUSSIA- Aleksandr Kerzhakov

Uh
Don't think that I'm approving of this jean jacket OR the popped collar. That's not what this is. But I do approve of everything else.
swoonworthy.net

Don't think that I'm approving of this jean jacket OR the popped collar. That's not what this is. But I do approve of everything else.

ALGERIA- Liassine Cadamuro

I may be slightly allergic to apples but I'll eat them with Liassine any day
tumblr.com

I may be slightly allergic to apples but I'll eat them with Liassine any day

Does anyone else think his name kind of sounds like Listerine? No? Just me? Okay.
extralucha.com

Does anyone else think his name kind of sounds like Listerine? No? Just me? Okay.

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