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    People Are Sharing The Most Embarrassing Things They've Ever Said, And Now I'm Embarrassed Too

    "Have a nice day!" "No thanks."

    We've all been there. Someone says something, and instead of a clever (or coherent) response, you come up with just a lot of foot-in-mouth.

    CBC / Via

    Well, at least we can commiserate on the internet about it! Redditor u/marginalpotato posed the question: "What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?"

    Some responses can be laughed off pretty easily, but others...well, I wish neuralyzers were real. Check out the top responses below. 

    1. "Her: The twins are 3 years old. Me: Both of them?"

    Two twin babies wearing matching stripey PJs being held on someone's lap
    Caroline Purser / Getty Images

    2. "When the cashier said, 'Have a nice day,' and I replied with, 'No, thanks.'"

    Travis / Via

    "Background: I wasn't thinking straight that day and thought they said, 'Do you want a bag?'"


    3. "Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."

    Aminé / Via

    "It’s been 20 years, and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."


    4. "In my freshman year of college, I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester, one girl walked from the co-ed showers to her dorm room in her towel, still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says, 'I know I look stunning…' (sarcastically). To which I replied, 'Don’t flatter yourself.'"

    Reflection of someone in a full-length mirror closing a towel around them with a towel on their head
    Roberto Peri / Getty Images/Cultura RF

    "I had to slide a note under her door explaining I was tongue-tied as she was beautiful, and I meant to say, 'Don’t be hard on yourself; you look great.' (Or something to that nature.) We became good friends." 

    — u/Strongbad23

    5. "Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his mom's funeral."

    Person with hair pulled up, covering their face with their hands
    Jgi / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

    6. "Girl I was interested in gave me her number out of the blue. I asked: 'Why?'"

    Cocktail napkin with lipstick kiss and number written in pen 555-3260
    Jeffrey Coolidge / Getty Images

    "I never called." 

    — u/AnAwkwardBystander

    7. "A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check. In my car. Which I had driven to work."

    Universal / Via


    8. "It was my birthday, and it was getting cold outside so I announced to everyone that I was going inside to put on 'long-sleeve pants.'"

    Four pairs of jeans with a pair of jean shorts in the center floating in a sunny sky with bright clouds as if on a clothesline
    Erik Von Weber / Getty Images

    9. "Boss: 'Hey, do you have a sec?' Me: 'For you, I've got lots of secs!' Boss: Wide eyes, mouth dropped."

    Chemical Brothers / Via

    "If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase 'lots of secs' out loud. Preferably not to your boss though."


    10. "I was a cashier, and I had to unlock the bathroom for people when they needed to go, so I unlocked the bathroom for this guy, and he said thanks, and I replied, 'Have a good one.'"

    Floor level view of a public restroom, visible legs in the closest stall with pants around ankles
    Dann Tardif / Getty Images

    "That’s what I always said when people left, after they bought something, not when they’re going to shit. I hated that job." 

    — u/BlueRaspberrySloth

    11. "Probably the time I was on my honeymoon in Hawaii when I asked my new husband why there wasn't a bridge to Hawaii. Me: I mean, if there can be a bridge to Alaska, why can't there be a bridge to Hawaii? Husband: There's not a bridge to Alaska though? Me: Then how do people drive there?? Husband: ...Canada. Canada is the bridge."

    Close-up of Hawaii on a map with a red pushpin close to Hilo on the big island
    Mattjeacock / Getty Images

    "Still just about die of embarrassment every time I think about that one." 

    — u/HellfireMe

    "I blame a lifetime of the maps that show Alaska and Hawaii completely out of scale, and in weird positions relative to the contiguous US." 

    — u/Pixielo

    12. "Me chatting with a stunningly cute girl I met at a university party ~20 years ago. Her: I have hemophilia. Me: Oh cool, so do you know on some level that you're not really sick? Her: That's hypochondria. Me: Oh...yeah. That's right....OK, bye."

    FOX / Via

    "Quickly leaves the party in quiet shame."


    13. "What month is April in?"

    A spiral bound 2021 calendar opened to April, sitting next to a small pot of flowers
    Nora Carol Photography / Getty Images

    "I hadn't slept in a couple days and was trying to figure out what the date was."

    —  u/Starfall_5

    14. "I was student teaching and discussing my weekend plans to visit my cousin. One teacher said, 'Oh, you’re visiting your cousin? I thought you said you were going to visit your boyfriend.' In an attempt to gloss over his mistake and communicate the sentiment of no worries, I instead shrugged and for some reason said, 'Same thing.'"

    Paramount / Via / CBSAllAccess-season-5-episode-23-i-love-lucy-JRhS6WoswF8FxE0g2R

    15. "I'm in this café to leave a bunch of flyers I made. As I'm leaving, the waitress tells me she likes my perfume. Normally, I'd pick up on this as sort of a chat-up line and politely diffuse, but because of COVID and a recent breakup, I'm just not in that mindset at all. So I just blurt out, 'Yeah, I put on extra because I didn't shower today. And I sweat a lot.'"

    Someone leaning against pillows in bed wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top that has sweat around the neck and armpits, hair in a ponytail, wiping their forehead
    Peter Dazeley / Getty Images

    "Like, I can't even fucking cringe at myself, I'm so horrified. Even if she was just being nice, I'm now a weird story she can tell her friends. I'm such a fucking moron." 

    — u/Leopold87

    16. "When I explained to my dad that 'My boyfriend really likes BJs.' While they were both sitting there meeting each other for the first time."

    Ten post-it notes with sad faces on them arranged on a corkboard
    Mikroman6 / Getty Images

    "BJs is a restaurant chain where I live…" 

    — u/ees3r

    17. "While out for a walk, I admired a cute dog. I wanted to ask what breed it was, but my brain wasn’t working. Instead I asked, 'What brand is your dog?'"

    TikTok / Via

    "Which startled the owner, and myself. My attempt at correcting myself resulted in me blurting out, 'Species!' which only made matters worse."


    18. "I said, 'OK,' after a girl was breaking up with me, not realizing what happened."

    NBC / Via

    19. "I texted my cousin, 'I can't find my phone anywhere.'"

    A guy with a backwards cap, sweater, and pants, lounging by a window looking at his phone
    Webfluential / Getty Images

    "(The same phone I was texting him on.)" 


    20. "I got off a red-eye, very sleep-deprived, and realized I forgot my glasses on the plane. I asked the very kind gate agent if she could go check my seat to see if she could find them."

    A dog with short fur, a thin face, and floppy ears wearing big, round glasses and a turtleneck sweater
    Retales Botijero / Getty Images

    "While she was gone, I touched my face and felt my glasses. I was mortified and apologized profusely when she returned. She was really nice about it though." 

    — u/liam-itchy-dad

    21. "Pulled up at Hungry Jack's drive-thru, ordered nuggets and a McFluffy."

    Raising Cane's / Via

    "Hysterical laughter over speaker: 'Ma'am, it's a McFlurry, and this is Hungry Jack's.' My teenagers still bring it up."


    22. "During my supermarket days, somebody asked me where the toilets were. I replied, 'We don't sell toilets.'"

    Many, many rolls of toilet paper with one square out, laid out in lines of five
    Science Photo Library / Getty Images/Science Photo Library RF

    "I still cringe." 

    — u/Painfully_inadequate

    23. "A high school quiz bowl question was "a nine-letter word for 'said forcefully or excitedly.'" Me: 'Ejaculated.'"

    ABC / Via

    "It was exclaimed. 'Ejaculated' has 10 letters, and while technically could have otherwise been correct (e.g. the 'Snape!' ejaculated Slughorn meme), that nuance was lost on a room full of high school kids."


    24. "I was like 18 or 19 and thought the term 'rabid dog' was 'rabbit dog' and I said that out loud in a car with my friends."

    A small dog with dark ears lying on a couch wearing big bunny ears
    Manonallard / Getty Images

    "I still remember the exact location we were driving by when it came out of my mouth because I felt so stupid." 

    — u/Dangerous_Effort3355

    25. "I was giving a presentation about my club in high school, and at the end I wanted to invite people to come visit us, so I went to say, 'Stop by,' or 'Say hi,' but instead I managed to tell about 100 high schoolers to 'stay high.'"

    Someone holding up a big marijuana leaf, casting a shadow of hand and leaf behind it
    Olena Ruban / Getty Images

    "Didn’t know why everyone laughed till my friend told me what I said later…" 

    — u/InternationalAd2981

    Have you said something that made you want to snap your fingers and disappear? Share in the comments!

    Note: Answers have been edited for length/clarity.

    Read the full Reddit thread here

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