So I was put into a Honey Boo Boo kind of craving today and I decided I would skip on over to TLC.com to indulge a little.
Firstly, I was thrown off guard when I realized they don’t have any of the full length clips. “What the hell am I going to do now? YouTube each clip one by one?”
Once my eyes started to drift down to the comments I became a little enraged. I stumbled upon the shittiest grownups in TLC’s audience.
Now I’m all for calling people on their shit if they are some sort of grown up. Hell, even a pesky teen might draw up a little bile in the back of my throat once in awhile. They are old enough to know when they are acting ridiculous.
But here, we are talking about a little girl. A tiny precious little pageant queen that chugs Mountain Dew, has/had a gay pet pig named Glitsy, and claps for the other girls competing against her. In my book, anyone who can look at that chubby little smile and talk shit is an evil monster who doesn’t deserve the chance to participate in life.
Keep in mind this is coming from someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy most children. Honey Boo Boo is the red necked Shirley Temple and I’ll go straight to hell in a hand basket before I let someone pick on her.
4. The “I don’t have a remote!” lady
5. The “What if my child starts talking with an accent?”
6. The Name Callers
Lady, that could be your war paint fumes making you sick to your stomach…
7. The “I call for a boycott!” guy
8. The Denyer
Right. You accidentally walked into the room and it was on and you accidentally sat on your ass and watched it all. THE WHOLE SEASON.
9. The Mean Girl
This one definitely took the cake. If you think you hate her now, you have to just witness her responding to the other commenters to hate her more.
10. The Mean Girl’s Fans
Just look at this girl gloat over her successful bullying. These Jackasses are just itchin to plant their lips right on her mean ass.
11. The Attempted Good Samaritan
Here is where the first person tries to step up and be the bigger person….
Mean girl ain’t having none of that. She goes in for the jugular!
13. Mean Girls Boyfriend
I noticed this guy couldn’t wait to get in the action once his woman started coming under fire for the shitty things she said.
14. The Snappy Smart Ass
When I saw this one I was like “You GO girl!”
Uh oh. Tarzan to the rescue.
At this point, I had almost given up hope for humanity. As I held the stapler to my head, realizing I would no longer be able to take part in societies evils, a clear voice of reason spoke out. It was like hearing a dove coo while walking in the fog.
God. I will stay another day.
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