So I was put into a Honey Boo Boo kind of craving today and I decided I would skip on over to TLC.com to indulge a little.
Firstly, I was thrown off guard when I realized they don't have any of the full length clips. "What the hell am I going to do now? YouTube each clip one by one?"
Once my eyes started to drift down to the comments I became a little enraged. I stumbled upon the shittiest grownups in TLC's audience.
Now I'm all for calling people on their shit if they are some sort of grown up. Hell, even a pesky teen might draw up a little bile in the back of my throat once in awhile. They are old enough to know when they are acting ridiculous.
But here, we are talking about a little girl. A tiny precious little pageant queen that chugs Mountain Dew, has/had a gay pet pig named Glitsy, and claps for the other girls competing against her. In my book, anyone who can look at that chubby little smile and talk shit is an evil monster who doesn't deserve the chance to participate in life.
Keep in mind this is coming from someone who doesn't particularly enjoy most children. Honey Boo Boo is the red necked Shirley Temple and I'll go straight to hell in a hand basket before I let someone pick on her.
The "I don't have a remote!" lady
The "What if my child starts talking with an accent?"
The Name Callers
The "I call for a boycott!" guy
The Mean Girl
The Mean Girl's Fans
The Attempted Good Samaritan
Mean Girls Boyfriend
The Snappy Smart Ass
At this point, I had almost given up hope for humanity. As I held the stapler to my head, realizing I would no longer be able to take part in societies evils, a clear voice of reason spoke out. It was like hearing a dove coo while walking in the fog.