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    23 Jokes About Being Single That Are Funny Because They're True

    "Day 126 with no sex. I've lost hearing in my right eye."


    In 8th grade I broke up with my boyfriend at a middle school dance & requested they play Single Ladies as a power move but he ended up dating my cousin 3 weeks later all through high school and college & I just got an invite to their wedding so guess who won that one!!!!!


    My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're braver than I am


    being single is like… it’s just you and your bottle of water


    Day 126 with no sex. I've lost hearing in my right eye


    To all the boys I didn’t really like but then realized they liked me so I started liking them and then they stopped liking me so it made me like them more.


    I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like “have fun, get that dick!” and I said “hell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to celebrate my dogs birthday


    There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.


    I just remembered a first date where I said, “I’m going to be so sad when Julie Andrews dies,” to which my date responded, “Yeah you said that already.”



    princess fiona really sacrificed her beauty to be an OGRE with shrek... all men do is TAKE omg i'm staying single forever i just deleted tinder


    Single at 23: “I have to go out and meet someone!” Single at 29: “If it’s meant to be the right person will find me in my home.”


    Dating as an adult is hard because even when you do meet somebody you like there are very few opportunities to engineer a situation so that you're cast opposite one another in a school play.


    telling people you’re single: • “you’ll find someone” • “have you tried tinder” saying “many have tried to date me and all have failed”: • mystical • empowering • sword-in-the-stone vibes


    me curving guys even though i’m completely single


    me: I want a relationship!! someone: hi I'd like a relationship with you me:


    just found out that to get in a relationship I can’t constantly isolate myself from everyone.. lots to process..


    can’t believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die


    Being single sometimes is a blessing , I bought 10kg of rice in 2005 and it just finished today ❤️


    Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.


    what's it called when ur roommate is single and then within a year she is married and you are living with her and her husband and also it has happened to me twice


    Me: "I've met a boy" A week later:



    i’m sorry i roasted you i was trying to flirt