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    Dec 23, 2017

    16 Jokes You'll Only Understand If You're Hilariously Bad At Love

    I'm sorry for who I am.

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    I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats

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    Signs a first date is bad: -won't make eye contact -keep checking their phone -didn't respond any of the times you said you loved them

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    Me: "I've met a boy" A week later:

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    my date: so tell me a little about yourself me: [i close my eyes for 12 minutes and then loudly exhale] no

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    waiter: can I get you guys some more breadsticks? date: no thanks me: [mouthful of chicken parm] bring the breadsticks Tony

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    Her: you ok? Me: just nervous, I don't date much Her: you're doing fine [I go to take a drink, but It's the candle & I set my face on fire]

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    An extremely accurate description of what it's like to hook up with me

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    me: [raises hand] my date: again, that's not necessary

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    [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"

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