Cookie Monster's Twitter Account Is So Pure, Hilarious, And Relatable

    Today canceled. Me staying in bed and eating cookies.

    1. On Ariana Grande:

    Me after me eat cookie:

    2. On decisions:

    Me no understand problem. Who not eat both?

    3. On inner-thoughts:

    Me: Eats cookie. Me brain: Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Me: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

    4. On screen savers:

    Me got new phone background today. Now me want to eat me phone.

    5. On Twitter handles:

    Me love cookies. Me Cookie Monster.

    6. On dreams:


    7. On bread:

    8. On IHOP:

    Me voted for iHOC - International House of Cooooooookies! 🍪

    9. On birthdays:

    It me birthday today! Me going to celebrate with 2 cookie cakes! One cookie-shaped cake, one cake-shaped cookie. Cover all bases.

    10. On NASA:

    Sometimes Moon look like giant cookie. Must look into joining space program.

    11. On lazy days:

    Today canceled. Me staying in bed and eating cookies.

    12. On Britney Spears:

    🎶 Oops, me did it again Me ate all the coookies, got lost in the crumbles Oh Cookie, Cookie Oops, me think me in love That they sent from above Me just like cookies yeah. 🎶

    13. On Vanessa Carlton:

    🎶Making me way downtown walking fast, monsters pass and me cookie bound! Dum de dum de dum! 🎶

    14. On giving thanks:

    Three things me thankful for: cookies, cookies and more cookies. Me monster of simple tastes.

    15. On balanced meals:

    Contrary to popular belief, me don’t only eat cookies. Me eat three square meals a day… with lots of circular desserts.

    16. On meal prep:

    Me learned me no good at meal prep. Me eat all meals me prep right away... It problem.

    17. On self rewards:

    Bad day? Eat cookie. Good day? Eat cookie. Either way, me eat cookie!

    18. And finally, on cookies:

    .🍪🍪🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪🍪🍪 🍪🍪🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪🍪🍪 🍪🍪🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪🍪🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪🍪🍪🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪🍪 🍪 🍪🍪🍪🍪