1. Does the sound of birds chirping in the morning not fill you with rage?
2. Are the concepts of alarm clocks completely lost on you?
3. Like, do you even know there’s a snooze function that gives you nine extra minutes?
4. What horrible experiences made you this way?
5. Do you not even like sleep?
6. Have you evolved you to the point where you don’t need sleep?
7. Are you the one who keeps trying to make #riseandgrind happen?
8. Is your bed not as comfortable as mine?
9. Do you actually prefer morning sex?
10. Do they serve continental breakfast at the gym before 8a.m. or something?
11. Do you get drunker at brunch since you’re starting earlier?
12. Are you the one who used all the hot water?
13. When you say “good morning,” do you actually mean it and not just say it out of habit?
14. Do you honestly not think it’s rude to call someone at 9a.m. on a Saturday?
15. What exactly do you mean by the phrase, “Oh, are you just getting up?”
16. Are you seriously OK to operate machinery without coffee before 10a.m.?
17. What's it like to stream Netflix when you wake up instead of before you go to sleep?
18. Be honest, do you think you’re better than night people?
