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19 Penis Problems That Are Actually Real

Life is hard. Maybe wear a cup.

1. You broke your penis.

2. Your boner won't cooperate after a few drinks.

3. You notice blood in your semen.

4. You have blue balls.

5. You keep going and going and going and can't ejaculate.

6. You orgasm really really quickly and you're upset about it.

7. Your penis is really bent and it hurts.

8. You've got jock itch.

This is actually called tinia cruris, and it's a fungal infection on your groin or genitals. You might notice some itchiness or redness in the creases by your thighs and butt, and in unfortunate cases, it can extend to your scrotum or genitals. It's caused by heat, sweat, and skin rubbing together, so wearing breathable fabrics and loose-fitting clothing can help. And if you sweat a lot (especially in the ball region), Morgentaler suggests using a talcum powder to prevent jock itch. Make sure to also wash and dry your genitals properly to prevent it. If you've already got it, there are OTC anti-fungal creams that can help, or you can go to your doctor for a prescription-strength one.

9. Your penis is red and there's maybe some itching and burning.

10. No, seriously, there's A LOT of inflammation on your penis.

11. Something is coming out of your penis and it's not cum or pee.

12. You have warts on or near your penis.

13. You got a penis piercing, and there are some... complications.

14. You can't get a boner.

15. You have sores on or near your penis.

16. You have other lumps or bumps down there and you're not sure what they are.

17. You can't retract your foreskin, or you did retract it and now you can't put it back.

18. You have an erection that will not go away and it hurts.

19. You notice a growth or other visible changes on your penis.

Bottom line: If you notice something weird on/near/in your penis, get it checked out!