Health

27 Things You Really Need To Hear After Getting Your Heart Broken

Because love is a cruel bitch sometimes.

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1. Know that it will SUCK — but not forever.

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"It will suck harder than you thought possible, for longer than you thought possible... and then IT WILL END. You will get over it. You will realize that the rest of life is STILL awesome!" —Jennifer Nelson (Facebook)

2. Embrace how much it actually sucks.

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"It's a rite of passage, a growing experience, and you will be a better, stronger person for it. Life doesn't present too many opportunities to cry to sad movies, wear sweatpants for days on end, and sleep all day. Don't beat yourself up; ride that emotional roller coaster. And get yourself a breakup album that you can cry and jam to." —Jordyn Spencer Fox (Facebook)

3. Don't assume you should be "over this" already.

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"Before my first serious boyfriend and I broke up I honestly did NOT realize how bad it would be — it's like someone died. And it's OK to treat it like that and to mourn. It sucks, and it'll hurt like hell, and you'll cry a lot for a WHILE. Just know it's OK to be sad and cry and feel like you're broken into a million pieces on the floor. Even if it's months and months later and you think about it and start bawling all over again when you thought you were over it. That's OK. There's no "right way" to feel about a breakup and no "right time" to be completely fine and move on. But then at some point you'll be going to bed without crying once all day. And then you'll go a week without being sad about it. Then you'll realize it's all OK. And that'll be a great day." —brynnem4d5e8c082

4. Know that there's ~science~ to explain what you're going through right now.

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"Watch the TED Talk about love and brain during heartbreak and realize feeling obsessed is a natural reaction." —holt0491

5. Sure, it's not fair that you got your heart broken, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope.

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"You need to stop watching the scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I where Ron leaves Harry and Hermione and pitying yourself. Ron had an excuse to be an ass. He had a HORCRUX around his neck. That boy you were with did not. He is not a Dementor; your soul is not gone. You are The Girl Who Loved. Sometimes too much, sometimes at the wrong time, and sometimes the wrong person. But you must keep loving. The world outside is enchanting. Stop letting others steal your magic." —casalena

6. Really, the best is yet to come.

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"If you could fall that hard for a person who is completely wrong for you, imagine how hard you can fall for the person who is perfect for you." —Meghan Mary Dillon (Facebook)

7. But don't immediately try to find someone new to distract yourself.

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"Being alone is pretty rad too." —courtneyt442bd0fdc

8. Take this opportunity to make some little positive changes in your life.

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"You don't need to reinvent yourself, but you do need to make healthy choices. The breakup with my boyfriend of five years happened a few months before I graduated college and I was pretty self-destructive. I finally came to a realization that this was my new life and that I got to decide what it would look like. It was so empowering! I got a gym membership (and went!); I broke bad habits and made really positive new ones. I strengthened my relationship with my parents and applied for jobs in places I never heard of. When I did meet someone new, I wasn't just over my ex, but I was a better person because of it." —rdbrock

9. And try to steer clear of potentially not-so-healthy behaviors.

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"Don't mix heartbreak, vodka shots, and Facebook." —Caitlin Perryman (Facebook)

10. Pizza and Netflix with your best friend will help. A lot.

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"I have a system for breakups. I have my best friend spend the night and make her delete all pictures of my now-ex off my phone so I don't have to see them. Then we eat an entire pizza and watch stand-up comics on Netflix all night. By the next day, you have so many new jokes to tell that you're bound to have a good day. Jim Gaffigan has gotten me through many a breakup." —emilys453b80a4d

11. So will Taylor Swift.

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"Listen to a lot of Taylor Swift. There is something so comforting about listening to her heartbreak songs and realizing that you're not alone. And cry. Cry as much as you need to, until your eyes physically cannot produce tears anymore. Take your time to get on your feet again and believe in the fact that eventually you will be OK again. Maybe not in days or weeks... but eventually you will feel OK." —Amanda Peshock (Facebook)

12. Don't shy away from all the things that remind you of them. Do what you want to do.

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"Don't avoid doing things you and your ex would do all the time. Don't stop listening to your favorite band just because they liked them too. Don't stop going to the super-hipster coffee shop that you love just because it reminds you of them; go and make new memories there." —amberwavess

14. And maybe punch something if you feel like it. Or run, whatever.

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"Exercise. I recommend something in the boxing category." —teresab44e0b4457

15. If you can, give yourself a change of scenery stat.

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"After my last real heartbreak I took a 10-day vacation with my best girlfriend to South Carolina. The best advice I can give is it's better to cry your eyes out on the beach with a beer and a good book than in your room all by yourself. Surrounding yourself with your favorite things won't make the hurt go away, but it reminds you that you won't feel this way forever." —sarao4b214a29a

16. Fight the urge to get back together — you broke up for a reason.

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"Don't date your exes. It may be tempting, especially when you still have feelings for the person or how much you wish for things to work out, but it ended for a reason the first time. Or second time. Or third time in my case." —erikal27

17. And maybe don't have sex with them one last time.

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"Don't go for the after-breakup hookup! It will make it much worse. Not only will you feel really shitty and used but it will rekindle those feelings that you are trying to suppress." —lisal32

18. Recognize that you may still have A LOT to learn about yourself.

Kayla Sawyer / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: ksawyer

"I would tell my 15-year-old self: That boy who just broke your heart, don't sweat about him. As it turns out, you don't even like boys all that much.'" —courtneyo4be58e320

19. Remember that they were kinda the worst sometimes.

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"Keep in mind we all tend to remember the good times and overlook all the bad times, so when you are reminiscing on the past, make sure to include the things you hated about him like how he never gave you affection without asking for it or how you fought all the time. It sure gives perspective." —kellylynnn2

20. It may not feel like it now, but you're learning A LOT from this.

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"I wish I could tell my younger self that they will learn from heartbreak. That heartbreak in one relationship will eventually lead to growing as a person. Heartbreak is just life's way of preparing you for who you are ultimately meant to be with. —brayandelosr

21. Just don't let this turn you into a bitter and cynical mess, either.

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"Don't let your past relationships dictate how you act in new relationships. Being afraid to be yourself, to love, to trust another person will ruin your new relationships. Let the past go!" —staceyb41a937b00

22. Work on finding yourself, especially since your ~self~ may have changed since the last time you were single.

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"Having to find yourself after being so close with and sharing so much with someone is difficult. I think it's so hard to find yourself after a breakup because you're a different person completely — you'll never be exactly the same person you were before you started dating and you'll never be who you were when you were with that person because being with that person changed you (good or bad) and now you have to find who you are again. Break yourself down and then build yourself back up to be even better than you were." —emilyc488dc68b0

23. Take a little time to think about the kind of person you do want and deserve to be with.

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"Dear Younger Self: You tend to like assholes, maybe fix that." —kates4eb4bc65e

25. Unfriend, unfollow, block — do whatever you've got to do so you aren't constantly seeing what they're up to.

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"Stop communicating and stop social media stalking. Every time you talk to them or look at their profile, it hurts. Think of it this way: If you have a bad wound on your skin, you put a bandage on it so it will heal. If you keep lifting up the bandage to look at your cut, it's not going to heal. You need to put the bandage on and let it heal, meaning DON'T TALK TO HIM/HER and also DON'T LOOK AT THEIR FACEBOOK/INSTAGRAM/TWITTER and let yourself heal. It will only hurt you and slow down your healing process." —drjerrytfm

26. This person maybe didn't love you as much as you deserved, but someone else will.

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"What's exciting is the idea of moving on and finding someone who truly does and will love you the way you deserve to be loved, way more than that last person did. That's the thought that makes my heart happy. Also, Taylor Swift helps." —Kyle Davis (Facebook)

27. You're right, you will literally never be the same. But... that's OK.

Adam J. Kurtz / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

"You feel like you'll never love that way again, and it's true. With each person, it will be brand new. You'll move on after this and find another love, and it will thrill you as much as the last did, but in a different way. Look forward to it." —mabel