Sex ed probably taught you that sex = penetration. If something is going into something else, it's sex! But this "intercourse discourse" is pretty limiting and stigmatizing for anyone who either doesn't have sex that way or doesn't orgasm that way, sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, founder of Good in Bed, tells BuzzFeed Health.
Since a lot of sex ed focuses on penetrative sex (usually in the context of reproduction), it's worth noting that your own sex life may look nothing like that.
"Most people don't necessarily fit into that one model of what counts as sex," sex educator Logan Levkoff, PhD, tells BuzzFeed Health. "There a lot of ways to get pleasure and feel intimate and be satisfied, whether or not it falls into some silly old idea of what sex is supposed to be."