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17 Conversations No Passive-Aggressive Person Has Had


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1. The discussion about whose turn it is to clean the kitchen.

2. The text message to your boyfriend where you say that you're disappointed about the last-minute change of plans, actually.

And can he give you a quick call so you can figure out new plans and make sure you're on the same page?

3. The conversation where you talk to your roommate face-to-face about how those were your doughnuts, and it's OK if he eats your food, but please replace what he takes, OK?

4. The conversation where you let someone know they said something pretty hurtful, actually.

5. The talk about appropriate hand hygiene in the workplace.

6. The confession that you're actually really upset about something, and, while you're at it, what's upsetting you.

7. The calm and thoughtful discussion about your relationship expectations and hopes.

You know, the one where you admit that it actually hurts your feelings when they take a whole day to respond to your text messages, and it would mean a lot if they could get back to you sooner.

(Or, you know, barring that... the one where you break up with someone who isn't responding to your text messages for eight hours in a row.)

8. The conversation where you sit your roommate down and say that, while you realize this might seem a bit intense, it would mean a LOT to you if they did the dishes in this particular way.

And hey, if they don't want to do the dishes in that way, maybe you can take over dish duty, and they can handle vacuuming and taking out the garbage? Chore wheel? Is there some way that we can live together and both be happy about this?


9. The brainstorm at work where your idea gets critiqued and you take the feedback in stride, and then suggest a better, more thought-out solution.

10. The time you're planning a trip with friends and you speak up when one of them begins taking the trip planning in a direction that is insanely expensive and not totally worth it to you.

Maybe they can do that as a day trip, and you can just kick it at the hotel? Or maybe we split up for a few days? Or maybe there's a cheaper option we can all find together? So many ways to compromise!

11. That very difficult conversation with someone who has lied to you, where you let them know that you are hurt that they lied, and you are having a hard time trusting them right now.

12. The text message you send that asks if your kid could give you a call on X day at Y time, because you'd love to talk and haven't heard their voices in too long.

13. The conversation where you give someone the opportunity to explain themselves and apologize.

And you maybe even consider forgiving them for the silly stupid thing they did.

14. The situation where you ask your neighbors if they could please stop parking in front of your driveway because it blocks you from coming and going.

15. The time when, instead of making a "joke," you actually say that you're not totally comfortable with the thing that's happening right now, and you'd like to talk about it.

16. The conversation where you ask your partner to please stop being passive-aggressive, because it hurts your feelings and also makes it harder to solve whatever the issue is.

17. And, of course, the conversation where YOU apologize for being passive-aggressive, and then promise to work on it (and actually mean it).