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    27 Things That Happen When You Go To A College Health Clinic

    "Yes I meant that I had 46 drinks of alcohol this week."

    1. When you try to make an appointment that even remotely works with your class schedule:

    2. And when the only available weekend appointment is Saturday at 8 a.m.

    3. When someone you know from class comes in the waiting room but you aren't trying to socialize:

    4. When the free condoms are the nice kind:

    5. When the doctor asks why you came in and you just end up explaining your entire weekend:

    6. When the doctor asks if you're sexually active:

    7. When you need to point out that your sexual partners aren't the opposite sex:

    8. When the only possible diagnoses are mono or pregnant:

    9. When you come in looking like a mess and run into your lecture crush:

    10. When you see someone you hooked up with freshman year:

    11. When you go in for a totally routine STI test but you still get paranoid that everybody is judging you:

    12. When you come in hungover AF but you're trying to pull it together because you're actually sick, too:

    13. When everyone in the waiting room is coughing from the same dorm flu:

    14. When you finally get called back and start to get nervous because you still don't know how to adult:

    15. When you have to do the impossible mental math to answer "when was the first day of your last period?"

    16. When the doctor asks if you've ever experimented with marijuana:

    17. When they ask you literally anything about your family's health insurance plan:

    18. When they are not having it with your fear of needles:

    19. When they ask "why didn't you come in sooner?"

    20. When you go in for a cold and they test you for chlamydia:

    21. When you go in for a sprained ankle and they test you for chlamydia:

    22. When you go in for something legit and they're like "omg chill here's a Z-Pak bye"

    23. When you play up your symptoms for an excused absence note:

    24. When they refuse to give you an excused absence note:

    25. When they ask how you got that UTI:

    26. When you walk in with half an arm and blood coming out of your ears and they still ask if you made an appointment:

    27. When the doctor asks you how many drinks you have in a week: