1.
When your doctor decides to shove a vase up your butt in the middle of a field in broad daylight:
2.
When your dentist has to pull a giant fucking tooth worm thing out of your mouth:
3.
When the "plague doctor" shows up in a scary ass bird mask, looking more terrifying than the actual plague itself:
4.
When you have food poisoning but your doctor doesn't want to get any puke stains on his new velvet robe:
5.
When the entire medical team decides to get absolutely trashed before your head operation:
6.
When your physician is pissed because they have to sweep the bugs out of your hair for the 100th time:
7.
When your dentist has no forearm strength so he just pushes off your chest with his muddy boot to remove a tooth:
8.
When the other doctors are right next to you trash-talking your doctor's skills as he slices your head open:
9.
When your urologist who wears a bowl on his head scolds you about your abnormally massive testicles:
10.
When your doctor casually cuts into your veins and lets you bleed out into a bowl on the floor:
11.
When your physician can't figure out how to fix your shoulder so you just stand there crying-laughing:
12.
When your OBGYN has really tiny legs and feet so they need to go extra lengths to get the right angle:
13.
When your doctor should be treating you for smallpox but they're too busy throwing dandelion puffs into the air:
14.
When your doctor is pissed because you came in late for your appointment to get a hole drilled in your head:
15.
When your doctor decides to just do the splits in his leggings right as he cuts your head open:
16.
When your doctor makes you hang from a chandelier so she can deliver your adult baby:
17.
When your doctor makes you get in an interesting position so he can reach your hemorrhoids with his tiny rake:
18.
When your doctor asks you to hold an egg calmly so he can poke the shit out of your eye:
19.
When your physician forces you to chug water from a funnel and they're also maybe drowning you:
