Health

19 Medieval Doctors Who Need To Explain Themselves

Before there was Grey’s Anatomy, there was art!

1. When your doctor decides to shove a vase up your butt in the middle of a field in broad daylight:

2. When your dentist has to pull a giant fucking tooth worm thing out of your mouth:

British Library / Via bl.uk

3. When the “plague doctor” shows up in a scary ass bird mask, looking more terrifying than the actual plague itself:

4. When you have food poisoning but your doctor doesn’t want to get any puke stains on his new velvet robe:

British Library / Via bl.uk

5. When the entire medical team decides to get absolutely trashed before your head operation:

wmPearl / Hermitage / Via commons.wikimedia.org

6. When your physician is pissed because they have to sweep the bugs out of your hair for the 100th time:

University of Cambridge Digital Library / Via cudl.lib.cam.ac.uk

7. When your dentist has no forearm strength so he just pushes off your chest with his muddy boot to remove a tooth:

The British Library / Via britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk

8. When the other doctors are right next to you trash-talking your doctor’s skills as he slices your head open:

9. When your urologist who wears a bowl on his head scolds you about your abnormally massive testicles:

Besançon Bibliotheque Municipale / Institut de recherche et d’histoire des textes / Via bvmm.irht.cnrs.fr

10. When your doctor casually cuts into your veins and lets you bleed out into a bowl on the floor:

Peter Isotalo / British Library / Via commons.wikimedia.org

11. When your physician can’t figure out how to fix your shoulder so you just stand there crying-laughing:

Guy of Chauliac, La grande chirurgie / Via commons.wikimedia.org

12. When your OBGYN has really tiny legs and feet so they need to go extra lengths to get the right angle:

Rolando de Parma / Biblioteca Casanatense / Via opac.casanatense.it

13. When your doctor should be treating you for smallpox but they’re too busy throwing dandelion puffs into the air:

Kupferstichkabinett, Staatliche Museen. / Via commons.wikimedia.org

14. When your doctor is pissed because you came in late for your appointment to get a hole drilled in your head:

Popular Science Monthly / Via SHEILA TERRY/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY

15. When your doctor decides to just do the splits in his leggings right as he cuts your head open:

Kunstmuseum St. Gallen / Via commons.wikimedia.org

16. When your doctor makes you hang from a chandelier so she can deliver your adult baby:

François Maitre / Via commons.wikimedia.org

17. When your doctor makes you get in an interesting position so he can reach your hemorrhoids with his tiny rake:

British Library / Harley Manuscripts / Via bl.uk

18. When your doctor asks you to hold an egg calmly so he can poke the shit out of your eye:

British Library / Via commons.wikimedia.org

19. When your physician forces you to chug water from a funnel and they’re also maybe drowning you:

The Luttrell Psalter / British Library / Via bl.uk

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