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15 Thoughts Every Germaphobe Has On An Airplane

Did you really just pass this complimentary cranberry juice with your fingers touching the rim of the cup?

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It's holiday season, which means you might be traveling on one of these sometime soon:

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It's also cold and flu season, which means every surface of every airplane is probably contaminated and we're all doomed.

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So, welcome fellow germaphobes as we discuss all the reasons that air travel is basically just an invitation to get your flu on.

1. For starters, you're in a small enclosed space with tons of random breathing people.

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That ain't right.

2. You are thousands of miles up in the sky which means your ability to get fresh air seems limited.

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(Yeah, yeah, we've heard of air filtration but TELL THAT TO OUR ANXIETY.)

3. You're strapped in a seat for multiple hours, extremely close to lots of other phlegmy humans.

4. Just think about how many people are roaming in and out of airports and planes on a daily basis...

5. You know how many people have probably touched that knob? THOUSANDS.

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6. And they all definitely touched the bottom of their shoes in the security line — do you even know what's on the bottom of shoes?

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Pee, poop, MRSA on the streets everywhere.

7. You have to escape to a closet-sized, equally germy bathroom so you can wash your hands 7 million times.

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7 million isn't even enough.

8. And what even is that airplane bathroom smell?

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9. Did that person really just pass you your complimentary cranberry juice with their fingers on the rim of the cup?

Cool. Wasn't thirsty anyway.
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Cool. Wasn't thirsty anyway.

10. If someone coughs, those airborne virus particles are basically just going to chill all around you.

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11. And if someone sneezes, that monster just sprayed you with all of the germs.

And what can you do about it? NADA.
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And what can you do about it? NADA.

12. How do you even think diseases travel between continents? PLANES.

Kafl / Getty Images / Via Caroline Kee / BuzzFeed

13. Remember where that deadly epidemic movie Contagion all started? IN AN AIRPORT.

One minute Gwyneth Paltrow is looking all pretty and coughing in an airport terminal and the next, she's spreading a deadly virus from Asia to Chicago and then all over the world. THANKS, GWYNETH.
Warner Bros / Via totalfilm.tumblr.com

One minute Gwyneth Paltrow is looking all pretty and coughing in an airport terminal and the next, she's spreading a deadly virus from Asia to Chicago and then all over the world. THANKS, GWYNETH.

14. That big bottle of hand sanitizer you packed? CONFISCATED BY THE TSA.

15. And just when you thought you were safe...your seat mate pulls out the air sickness bag.

Happy flying!