The 10 Stages Of Wearing Heels On A Night Out

"You went from supermodel strut to baby giraffe straight out the womb in under thirty minutes."

1. Confidence

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Legs looking great, feet feeling good, strutting out the door like you're Cara Delevingne on the runway. What could go wrong?

2. Inner Struggle

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"Maybe I should just change into flats, I'm not cut out for this. But then again the heels really do make my calves look smaller."

3. Strategizing

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Just remember to walk heel to toe all night and take sitting breaks when needed, you'll be fine. Right?

4. Discomfort

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Bad enough that you can feel it but not so bad that it can't be fixed by a little tequila.

5. Pain

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Contrary to popular belief, tequila isn't the solution for everything. "Did someone set the balls of my feet on fire?"

6. Instability

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You went from supermodel strut to baby giraffe straight out of the womb in under thirty minutes.

7. Insecurity

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"I'm 'That girl' who wears the heels she can't even walk in, aren't I?!" "WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME?!"

8. Revival

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Your second wind kicks in and suddenly you're Muhammad Ali fighting through the pain. *Flips hair and tells yourself "you got this"*

9. Realization

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Your adrenaline rush lasted maybe seven minutes and you're starting to hear your feet screaming with vengeance. Also realizing you should have thrown a pair of flats in your bag..

10. Defeat

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Walking home barefoot with heels in hand and without a care in the world. Laughing at the girls giving you dirty looks because you know damn well they wish they were you. F*ck it.