To Anyone Whose Summers Are Regularly Ruined By Hayfever
Spring is good and all that. But some of us can't breathe.
Birds are chirping, the sun is shining.
Beer gardens are nice again, instead of being frozen smoke filled hell holes.
But while this is all good, there's one problem round the corner: Hayfever.
Pollen causing havoc in all the holes in your face hayfever.
Waking up in the morning and spending an hour blowing your nose and itching your throat hayfever.
Plant bukkake filling your body full of mucus hayfever.
Itchy eyes and people thinking you're crying hayfever.
Dodging hanging out with your mates because nasty flowers are banging hayfever.
Running through so much Kleenex your friends think your have a bedroom problem hayfever.
Constant mouth breathing, so everyone thinks you're a troglodyte hayfever.
Sneezing so much, your loved ones consider giving you the Old Yeller treatment hayfever.
Sneezing so hard you blow your asshole out hayfever.
Knowing that bees are dying, but wishing they'd fucking quit it with the pollen hayfever.
Best your prayers, take your medication and pray for winter to come again.
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