1. You order croissants in a French accent.
2. You complain about prices.
3. You don’t wait for your drink to be called.
4. You order gross drinks that shouldn't exist.
5. You make a point of not going to Starbucks, then order in Starbucks lingo.
6. You ask silly questions.
7. You don’t look at the menu till you get to the register.
8. You stop for coffee when you’re running late to work, and you’re mad when things don’t move fast enough.
9. You’re mad at me when the cafe is out of things like iced decaf or whipped cream.
10. You round to the next dollar on credit card tips.
11. You’re on the phone while ordering.
12. You ask me to break a 50 dollar bill, then don’t tip.
13. You ask why the customer ahead of you got a free coffee.
14. You have dumb nicknames for coffee.
15. You don’t actually like coffee.
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