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29 Things That'll Scare Any Texan

Giant bugs, ruined Whataburger, and rattlesnakes, oh my!

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1. GIANT creepy crawlers.

Why is that centipede the size of a baby's arm? Everything truly is bigger in Texas.
Texas Parks & Wildlife / Via Twitter: @TPWDparks

Why is that centipede the size of a baby's arm? Everything truly is bigger in Texas.

2. Your AC breaking down in the middle of July.

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BRB, gonna go hang out in the freezer section of H-E-B for a while.

3. Dropping your Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit on the ground.

NOOOOO.
Leo Ryan Ferguson / Via Facebook: leo.ferguson.1

NOOOOO.

4. Your favorite Blue Bell ice cream going out of stock at your local H-E-B.

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Or production being temporarily halted. Is nothing sacred!? 🙈

5. Eating Tex-Mex anywhere outside of Texas.

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You're always disappointed because nothing can ever compare.

6. Getting anywhere close to a rattlesnake.

Rattlesnakes blend in so well and have NO CHILL — it's a recipe for disaster. Too bad you don't know Parseltounge.
Flickr: 42389547@N00 / Creative Commons

Rattlesnakes blend in so well and have NO CHILL — it's a recipe for disaster. Too bad you don't know Parseltounge.

7. Finding something floating in the Schlitterbahn tide pool.

mtv.com / Via Orion Pictures

Wait, is that a candy bar or....?

8. Accidentally stepping in a hidden fire ant mound.

Thinkstock
Thinkstock

9. A tropical storm warning.

...and never knowing how to prepare. Is it an Ike or a Rita?
KRTV / Via krtv.com

...and never knowing how to prepare. Is it an Ike or a Rita?

10. The walk from indoor AC to your car AC in 90% humidity.

Even if it's only a 20-foot walk, you feel like you're melting.
Amit Dey / Getty Images

Even if it's only a 20-foot walk, you feel like you're melting.

11. Sitting on leather car seats on a hot summer day.

Positively scorching.
Flickr: that_chrysler_guy

Positively scorching.

12. Braving traffic when the rodeo is in town.

I'm just gonna take a shortcut... oh wait, there are none.
George Doyle / Getty Images

I'm just gonna take a shortcut... oh wait, there are none.

13. Accidentally stepping on a bluebonnet.

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And the pain you feel when you see it crushed underneath your boot.

14. Visiting another state with no breakfast tacos to be found. Anywhere.

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Seriously, why is this not a thing everywhere?

15. Arriving at a crawfish boil and finding out that they've RUN OUT OF CRAWFISH.

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Lord, where is thy mercy?

16. Getting a gnarly sunburn after a weekend spent tubing on the river.

OUCH.
Siobhan Killalea / Via Facebook: siobhankillalea

OUCH.

17. Jellyfish tide warnings at Galveston or Corpus.

So THAT'S what you saw swimming by you earlier... *shudder*
Flickr: pyxopotamus / Creative Commons

So THAT'S what you saw swimming by you earlier... *shudder*

18. Finding the perfect pair of boots, but they don't have your size.

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Maaaaybe I can squeeze, if I curl my toes just right.

19. When it's rodeo week and you can't find your boots anywhere.

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You managed to find everything else, EXCEPT FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.

20. Diving into a swimming pool and it's the same temperature as your sweat.

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And it feels like a humidity bath.

21. Your local donut shop running out of kolaches.

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*cries*

22. Driving from Houston out to West Texas with no Buc-ee's along the way.

Flickr: mzmo / Creative Commons

Where else are you going to find Pecan Cinnamon Roll Crunch Popcorn? Or sparkly clean restrooms to stop at??

23. Finding out the convenience store is out of Topo Chico.

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24. Being downwind of this distinct smell.

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25. Searching for your favorite Shiner in H-E-B and it's nowhere to be found.

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Don't y'all know it's my birthday?

26. Forgetting your bug spray during the peak of mosquito season.

Prepare to be a walking buffet.
Flickr: 1_lizzy / Via Creative Commons

Prepare to be a walking buffet.

27. This tough choice.

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How exactly do you choose just *one* to eat?

28. Having to control your own rage when someone disses your team.

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The phrase 'bull in a china shop' comes to mind.

29. Running into all your Exes...

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But you still live in Texas, because you can't bear to live anywhere else.

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