back to top

29 Things That'll Scare Any Texan

Giant bugs, ruined Whataburger, and rattlesnakes, oh my!

Posted on

2. Your AC breaking down in the middle of July.

BRB, gonna go hang out in the freezer section of H-E-B for a while.

4. Your favorite Blue Bell ice cream going out of stock at your local H-E-B.

Or production being temporarily halted. Is nothing sacred!? 🙈


5. Eating Tex-Mex anywhere outside of Texas.

You're always disappointed because nothing can ever compare.


13. Accidentally stepping on a bluebonnet.

And the pain you feel when you see it crushed underneath your boot.

14. Visiting another state with no breakfast tacos to be found. Anywhere.

Seriously, why is this not a thing everywhere?

15. Arriving at a crawfish boil and finding out that they've RUN OUT OF CRAWFISH.

Lord, where is thy mercy?


18. Finding the perfect pair of boots, but they don't have your size.

Maaaaybe I can squeeze, if I curl my toes just right.

19. When it's rodeo week and you can't find your boots anywhere.

You managed to find everything else, EXCEPT FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.

20. Diving into a swimming pool and it's the same temperature as your sweat.

And it feels like a humidity bath.


21. Your local donut shop running out of kolaches.


23. Finding out the convenience store is out of Topo Chico.

24. Being downwind of this distinct smell.

25. Searching for your favorite Shiner in H-E-B and it's nowhere to be found.

Don't y'all know it's my birthday?

27. This tough choice.

How exactly do you choose just *one* to eat?

28. Having to control your own rage when someone disses your team.

The phrase 'bull in a china shop' comes to mind.

29. Running into all your Exes...

But you still live in Texas, because you can't bear to live anywhere else.