1. When you never fail to call a baby "it" rather than "he" or "she."
2. When people show you a picture of a wrinkly newborn and they're like, "Isn't he cute?!?"
3. When you're sitting down for dinner, but everyone brings their kids, and you can't help but get overstimulated.
4. And then one of those kids won't stop staring at you and you don't know what to do.
5. When you don't really know how to do "baby talk" so you just talk to toddlers like adults.
6. When someone asks if you want to hold a baby, you end up just looking like this:
7. And no matter what, a baby is bound to release some kind of bodily fluid on you...
8. ...or start crying for no reason.
9. And then when you have to hand it back, you're kinda like:
10. When you meet a kid for the first time and you get too far in their face and accidentally make them cry.
11. When kids want to run around and play, and they jump on your junk and you don't really know how to tell them.
12. Then, on the rare occasion you babysit for a friend, you turn your back FOR FIVE SECONDS and something like this happens:
13. And when you think you're capable of dealing with a child, you end up helplessly texting your friends for advice as soon as you're around them.
14. When a kid wants to play Legos with you, and you just end up getting way too into your creation instead of bonding with them.
15. When you think unsupervised coloring is a suitable activity for a child.
16. When you're too afraid to say "no" to a kid, even though you know they'll wreak havoc if you do say "yes."
17. Then you realize how much you cuss on the reg, so you have to find a way to censor yourself.
18. When you can't tell if you made them the butt of a tasteful or slightly mean joke.
19. When a child shows you their artwork and you're physically incapable of lying through your teeth and telling them it belongs in a museum
20. When a family member's kid is over and starts crying for no reason, you exhaust all your options and you're just like:
21. Then you start crying, and you do everything you can to cheer them up before their parents walk in and see you both in tears.
