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26 Things Former Emo Kids Are Secretly Ashamed Of Doing

'Cause you once used to think there was nothing sexier than a dude with guyliner and jet-black flat-ironed hair.

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1. Pretending you knew the words to that one part of "Sugar, We're Goin' Down."

It's actually "Drop a heart, break a name / We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team," but you just mumbled along.

2. And your thirst for Pete Wentz was wayyyy too scary.

You were so jealous when he married Ashlee Simpson.

3. Putting Dashboard Confessional lyrics on your AIM.

Chris Carrabba knew your tortured middle school soul.

4. Cutting your own side bangs and thinking they looked good.

You convinced yourself that they looked great.

5. Taking SO MANY overexposed selfies for your Myspace profile picture.

6. Using huge amounts of pink and red eyeshadow as eyeliner.

In retrospect, you looked like a raccoon with pinkeye.

7. Being way overdramatic about your middle school problems on DeadJournal.

"Horrible day...eNtErInG a ~BlUe DaRkNeSs~."

8. Dressing entirely head to toe in items you bought from Hot Topic.

Also, where else were you going to get your The Used patches, AFI folders, and Green Day posters?

9. Acting like you actually knew what sex bracelets were.

Admit it: You were kinda tempted to wear a black bracelet even though you hadn't even kissed somebody yet.

10. Making your Myspace ~edgy~ by giving it a layout of only pink and black skulls and hearts.

*cringing* Bonus points for the kissing emo couple.

11. Thinking you were badass wearing studded black belts with everything.

12. Sobbing uncontrollably when your parents didn't let you go to Warped Tour like everyone else.

Bryan Bedder / Getty Images

"What do you mean I, A 12-YEAR-OLD, can't go to a music festival alone?"

13. Trying to get Hayley Williams' hair on your own.

The bleach was not a good idea...

14. Answering really personal questions on Honesty Box.

Why don't you like Katie?

—Not Katie

15. Thinking you were being so sensitive by making a heart out of your hands before Taylor Swift tried it.

How else would your crush know how you felt?

16. Cutting off all your circulation for the sake of skinny jeans.

17. Thinking Emily the Strange was the most boss-ass bitch on the planet.

All you needed was three black cats wearing ties to complete the look.

18. Singing along to Blink-182’s “Miss You” and believing it was one of the greatest love songs of all time.


19. Thinking that you actually had a chance with Frank Iero.

There was nothing hotter than two strands of hair that came down to your chin.

20. And then getting in arguements with people who thought Gerard Way was the hottest member of My Chemical Romance.

But then there was that red hair though...

21. Nearly throwing out your neck after attempting to get the perfect hair swoosh.

Let's be real, the perfect swoosh wasn't worth a strained neck.

22. Looking like a walking ad for The Nightmare Before Christmas in all your swag.


Honestly, you should have been getting paid for the bag, shirt, socks, beanie, and pants you wore every day.

23. Drawing Sharpie stars on yourself, knowing you'd get them made into a tattoo one day.

Flickr: mcneillr / Creative Commons

Thank god you never followed through with those plans.

24. Posting pictures of yourself with your ~feelings~ written over them.

Because people needed to know how sensitive you really were.

25. Posting these all over your Xanga:

"I made you a cookie but I eated it." *shudders*

26. And finally, thinking ear gauges were a good idea.

Because you didn't realize that gauged ears would be forever.

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