5. The one who goes to investigate is the one who dies first.
This ain’t Scooby-Doo, son. THIS IS REAL LIFE.
10. Defend yourself against mind control.
Found yourself with knocked flat a killer headache? Stop and ask yourself: Have I been brain-jacked by a breed of evil telepathic extraterrestrials, or have I just been reading way too many YouTube comments?
11. Or, you know, just take matters into your own hands.
Pro Tip: There’s no extraterrestrial conflict that a good minigun won’t solve.
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