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1. Long words are for tools. Don't even bother with them.
2. Do, however, bother with puns. Your co-workers will love them.
3. There are always opportunities for you to drop some rhymes...
...even if you don't pick up on them every time.
4. When you really want to stress a point, use emphatic hand gestures.
5. Acronyms are an easy way to spice up any conversation...
…although you might have to take a few liberties here and there.
6. Knowing a foreign language is the pinnacle of sophistication. Make sure you flaunt your knowledge at all times.
7. This:
8. If you can’t find what you’re looking for in the dictionary, feel free to get creative.
9. Prove that a well-placed malapropism can't be topped.
10. Play around with spelling.
11. Or, you know, just completely make words up.
12. Incorporating slang into your vocabulary is a great way to show how cool you are…
…especially if you have someone showing you the ropes.
13. Make idioms your best friend. You will sound wise and profound.
14. Come up with a catchphrase. Use it frequently and unabashedly.
15. And NEVER let anyone else steal your rhetorical thunder.
16. But if there’s one thing we can learn from Michael Scott, it’s the importance of knowing when to just shut up.
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