*Not exclusive to heterogeneous couples; pertaining to classical gender norms for the sake of argument.
My boyfriend has never filled my room with dozens of red roses and scented candles and you know what? I'm glad. Honestly why on earth would I need so many? News flash, I wouldn't.
To be honest, I'm sure that there's a lot of people out there that feel the same way; that some of these #goals are just plain ridiculous.
Oh, you spread rose petals all over my house? Great, thanks, now I have to clean them all up.
Why do you have the same exact outfit…oh we're matching? That's creepy, go change.
Where the hell am I supposed to put a 6-foot teddy bear? (actually that sounds pretty dope nvm)
Don't pick me up and spin me around like that! I just ate, I'll get sick.
You spent $300 on Victoria's Secret stuff for me? Are you nuts; you could get TWO textbook for that kind of money.
I am NOT about to record us performing love song duets in the car, we're both horrendous singers.
Go outside, you left something on my doorstep? Sorry I'm not home right now, hope no one steals it by the time I get back.
Play with my hair? Don't mess it up, it took me a while to do it like this tf.
I watched a video yesterday of some dude literally waking his girlfriend up by throwing money on her face. Like, what the hell? If you woke me up at all I'd be pissed, let alone by you putting something like currency that's been who-knows-where in my mouth.
Come on, CHILL with the #GOALS stuff. I get that sometimes your significant other does something really sweet and you want to share it with the world. That's great, go you; congrats to both of you for being happy with each other! :)
But, there's a huge difference between having a genuinely good time as equals, and pushing completely unrealistic, double standards and sexist gender roles out onto social media and other people. Our society is already fighting for gender equality on so many levels, why we're continually creating these dumb Instagram and Twitter accounts that talk about all the things that a boy or girl should be, especially in the scope of a relationship, is beyond me. Why would you expect someone to treat you differently just because you're of a different gender? That is sexism; it's literally perpetuating sexism.
You wouldn't want to be treated with kid gloves at your job just because you've got different parts under the hood. Or I don't know, maybe you're fine with the salary difference as long as he uses it to buy you some MAC lipstick ;)
Oh no? That's what I thought.
Yes, I understand that some people would reply, "But it makes me feel good to take a girl out for a nice night; I like to show them I care, and I like to treat them." That's totally fine! It's really nice of you to want to treat another human to a nice evening. But don't be surprised when they want to do the same for you next time. It's not one-sided, you can both be generous people and feel good from a nice gesture.
This idea that girls should be princesses and get treated to a certain type of extravagant lifestyle is absurd. It's running rampant on social media with numerous "Relationship Goals" and "Perfect Future" accounts. We should focus on treating one another with respect and acceptance, not monogrammed Calvin Klein underwear.
Further on that point, don't retweet something that says "Guys, if you don't do x, y, and z, for your girl then you're losing at life." That's completely nonsensical. Like…no??? If you don't do that you just…didn't do it. There's nothing more to it. Then there are always people that comment underneath that are like, "#FACTS" with the clapping hands emoji. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here saying "Uh, I'm pretty sure that if my guy did that for me I'd laugh at him." Everyone has their own definitions of a relationship, and their own ways that they show affection. Expressing that you love and care for someone shouldn't be a winning or "losing" situation; they're emotions, not stats on a baseball card.
What are we saying? That the only way for someone to be a good suitor is if they meet the standards of some totally irrelevant people on Twitter trying to set impossible expectations?
Your ability to be a good partner has no correlation to how many times you fill their car with balloons or how many boxes of candy and treats you get for them…Your significant other is not an atm, and they're not a walking Nicholas Sparks novel. To be totally candid, if you measure your boyfriend or girlfriend's love by how many VS Pink sweatshirts they've bought you, you might have deeper problems than it being the wrong size.
Ask me how my day was, tell me a stupid joke.
Don't fill my bedroom with roses that'll die in a few days just to get some ridiculous aesthetic picture to please a bunch of strangers online.