Two silk worms had a race. They wound up in a tie.Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?Never trust atoms, they make up everything.A steak pun is a rare medium well done.What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.I fear for the calendar, its days are numbered.
What Should You Get Your Dad For Father's Day?
Your dad’s a fix-it guy. He can literally solve any problem, all he needs is the right tools, and the right snacks. He has the tools. Get him a gift basket packed with all the snacks a handyman could ever want.
Your dad’s a cycling dad, but it looks like he needs a new gadget for his bicycle. Help him take his cycling to the next level with a powerful wireless bicycle computer. Let him see how fast he’s actually going.
Your dad is a music man, but he can't hear his music properly with all that racket going on at home! Get him a good pair of headphones so he can enjoy his Dad Beats. He’ll thank you, and then later, you can come back and thank this quiz.
Your dad’s a classic Golfing Dad. Help him improve his game and give him what he really wants: a nifty drinks cooler for his golf cart.
Looks like we have a gardening dad on our hands. Get him a germination station, so he can germinate his seedlings from the comfort of the living room.
Your dad's a champion, a leader, a visionary. But is he really still reading physical books? Doesn’t he know this is the future? Get him a Kindle. Screen so paperwhite, he'll barely be able to tell the difference.
Does your dad’s car need a wash and wax? If you’re reading this result, the answer is probably yes. You should get your dad a Classic Wash & Wax Kit. If he doesn’t have a car, he can always give it to someone who does.
All hail the Hot Rod Dad! Your dad is fun, and also, he has everything. And what do you get the fun dad who has everything? You get him a remote control Mustang, of course.
Sometimes a dad just really wants to listen to his music outside, while he’s doing outside things. But he’s so sick of dealing with pesky wires! The perfect gift for your particular dad is a wireless portable speaker. Get him this.
Every dad has trouble with his dad fingers on touchscreens from time to time. Give yours a tablet pen, and he'll never suffer an embarrassing autocorrect fail again. Actually, he might still do that. He's still a dad, after all.
Master of the grill, that’s your dad. But as every good grillmaster knows, proper tools are essential to perfect grilling. Propel your dad to uncharted heights of grill glory with this wireless meat thermometer set— so he can monitor his meat from afar.
Your dad sounds awesome. He doesn’t sound like the kind of guy you would want to get lost while he’s driving out to see you. Avoid such disasters and get him a new GPS Navigator.
Your dad's a wine guy! The Dionysus of Dads. You should get him the most essential and authoritative wine reference book in the world, ever. So he can improve his wine game. (Not that it needs improving.)
He is your father. And he deserves an epic gift. In fact, he deserves the complete saga of epic gifts. You don’t need the Force to know that this is the one. Get him this.
"What if, in the future, I could control the light switch with my iPhone?" - your dad, 1979. Well, the future is here, Dad! Get him this nifty Wi-Fi-enabled light switch and make all his technology dreams come true.
Your old man was a brewer in a past life. Let him discover his unfulfilled potential with this incredible beer-making kit. And then, if you're over 21, you can drink the beer together. Gifting success!
“World’s Greatest Dad”? Let’s not go overboard. He’s okay, you guess. Get him a mug. It’s the thought that counts, or something, right?
Your dad has a sore neck! Sorry to hear that. Get him this Shiatsu Massage Pillow. It will deep knead his neck and shoulders into a state of unbridled bliss. A luxurious gift for a classy dad.
Your dad’s a history wizard, and he knows nearly everything. So what better gift for him than the history of nearly everything, condensed into one short book? Nope, there’s no better gift. Get him this.
Your dad is sweet! Sweet dads deserve sweet gifts. 5 lb of colorful, delicious, sweet gifts, to be precise. Get him this humongous bag of gummi bears and watch your offspring approval rating skyrocket.
Your dad’s a bonafide badass. He is the danger, the one who knocks. You’d better get him a good gift. Get him the Breaking Bad box set. Are you on a budget? Get him the final season. And tread lightly.
Your dad’s a meat man. He doesn’t just want steaks, he wants these buttery, tender Omaha 8-oz Ribeye steaks, and he wants them delivered, fast. Get him these and guarantee your status as “favorite child” for the rest of time. Or, if you’re okay with being second-favorite, just get him a hot sauce gift set.