10 Ways Your Tinder Profile Is Causing Ladies To Swipe Left

Whether you're looking for a mate, or just browsing for fun, not getting any matches is always an ego-killer. Take some advice from a fellow Tinderella and watch as your profile starts flooding with matches.

If you haven't heard, Tinder is the latest "dating/social media/browsing through other people in your area" app.

It has recently taken off and become quite popular, so I decided to check it out for myself.

It's a lot like people watching, and I feel like most of the people on there are doing just that, which makes it really low pressure and shame-free.

If you decide to join Tinder, read my guidelines below so you can start off on the right swipe.

1. You have girls on each arm in your photos.

I get it. You want us to know that ladies love you. You think we will see that and go, "Oh he must really be a catch, look at all the girls hanging off of him, *LIKE*."

We are actually saying: Oh, those girls are a lot prettier than me. He wouldn't like me after experiencing the glorious magic of being in the presence of those girls.

Or we see that they are obviously drunk and have no idea who you even are, so you took a picture with them. That's desperate.

* swipe left *

2. You are holding the wild animal you just shot. (Usually by the antlers)

Okay, some girls might actually like this. But for me, I won't even click to see more. You need to know, I am not against hunting/hunters at all. The reason why this is a "no no" has to do with how weird your thought process must have been to make THAT your first impression picture.

Were you like, "Okay, what is going to make her want to see more? How about a picture of me with something dead. Oh, and it's gotta be furry and cute. It should probably look like it's in a Disney movie, girls love Disney movies. But it's still gotta be dead. Cause I shot it. Cause I'm a country boy. Girls love country boys."

Maybe girls that are really into country boys will be drawn to that, but I just get grossed out.

* swiping left, wiping a tear *

3. Your bio is just a list of your stats. (7 feet 19 inches, Delta Nu)

Whenever I see a bio that just says your height, your sport, and your fraternity, I feel like I'm at a sperm bank. I'm just looking around for cool people in my area, not some sort of contract agreement. That's just such a strange way to present yourself on Tinder. Don't do it.

Or I'll swipe left.

4. You have a completely blank bio.

First of all, this shows that you are either lazy, or don't have any creativity whatsoever. Or both. Although leaving it blank might be better than what some of you guys are saying, you really should come up with SOMETHING.

Also, if it's blank then all I can pull from is our similar interests. If all I see is your picture, and that we both like Skittles, that's just not going to be enough for me to swipe right.

5. In your bio you say I'm going to have to message first.

How about no? I might have messaged you first if you hadn't told me to. But now I won't even swipe right.

I have seen way too many guys do this. You may not have thought this through, but by saying you won't message first, you are insulting every girl that sees you. We interpret it as, "We may match, but I don't think you're worth talking to unless you really push yourself on me."

No girl is going to swipe right for you when you're sending that kind of message.

(Haha, see what I did there)

6. You casually sneaked in a picture of you holding a child. (nephew right?)

I will assume it is your child and swipe left.

7. Every one of your photos is a group shot.

I will assume you are the ugly one and swipe left.

8. You describe what kind of girl you are looking for.

It's actually kind of the reverse of the sperm bank one.

A lot of guys describe someone so specific that I feel like he is never going to find someone that has everything he wants.

Also, many of you guys say, "Just looking for a fun and awesome girl who wants to travel the world with me."

Uh, what does that even mean? Like right now? When do we set sail?

This is also confusing because "fun" and "awesome" to one guy can be the total opposite to another. I don't have a clue if you would think I'm fun and awesome.

You forget, I know absolutely nothing about you.

9. You say in your bio that you are just a "really laid back/really chill" guy.

Probably 50% of all guys who actually write in the "about me" section write this.

I can't tell if it's supposed to be a warning, or something you think is attractive about yourself.

Just a heads up, a girl's natural instinct is not to go with the "laid back/really chill" guy. Our instinct is to go with the guy that is a hard worker, a go getter, someone who is going to be successful. Most of us girls are not going to have a job that can provide for a whole family, so we really need you to NOT be laid back and chill.

Stop that.

10. You have mirror selfies.

Just... ughhhh.

Just don't do that anymore.

I promise there ARE many ways you can get a girl to swipe right. Even if you have done a few of these "wrong" things, you can TOTALLY win us back over by adding in some of these things:

PUPPIES

Nuff said.

A little original humor, even poking fun at the app.

Some pictures of you being outdoorsy and active, or playing a sport. Living life. (Not in front of a mirror)

Oh and this, I don't mind at all.