First, we purchased every orange drink we could find at our local deli. (Independent variables.)
Then we added champagne. (The constant.)
Then we set up our new books editor as the blind taste tester (because fuck the new guy).
And told him to take scientific notes.
Then away we went…
And here are the results, from least to most acceptable:
8. Nantucket Nectars
3. Simply Orange
And the winner is…
Are you kidding? Go buy some fresh-squeezed. No one wants Fanta with brunch. That shit is ridiculous. Grab some oranges, squeeze them fruits, and make yourself a proper mimosa. Gatorade and champagne? C’mon.
- Actor Gene Wilder, who starred in classics like "Willy Wonka" and "Blazing Saddles," has died at 83.
- Some of Europe's most vulnerable children are seeking refuge in the UK only to disappear from care and possibly fall into the clutches of people-traffickers.
- Apple will unveil the newest iPhones on September 7. Expect a new dual-camera system and NO headphone jack 📱