Luckily, there are plenty of online tips for those who need to be the first kid on their block with an iPhone (hint: don't get fooled by fake eBay auctions). AT&T even has a Google Earth plug-in with store locations if you're easily confused by the telephone book.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.