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10 Reasons To Vote for The Crandidate in the 2016 Election

Think all the candidates are turkeys? Then vote for the most delicious one. Still not convinced? Here are 10 reasons, according to the Bird Party, why The Crandidate deserves your vote!

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1. He keeps it 100% real

Via giphy.com

The Crandidate is all natural turkey. All day, all the time. So you know exactly what you're getting.

2. He’s got fresh hot buns

Via giphy.com

His non-GMO multigrain bun was made this morning while you were still sleeping. Don't you just want to squeeze them?

3. To him, DJ doesn’t stand for “Department of Justice”

He's a turkey techno pioneer. Who wants a politician who spins stories when you can have one who spins phat drumstick beats!
Via yeswecran.com

He's a turkey techno pioneer. Who wants a politician who spins stories when you can have one who spins phat drumstick beats!

4. He hasn’t been bought by big money

On the contrary, The Crandidate can be purchased very affordably by working folks. It's not a shady deal when you buy him.
Via reddit.com

On the contrary, The Crandidate can be purchased very affordably by working folks. It's not a shady deal when you buy him.

5. He’s not a big mouth (and he knows how to shut them up)

Via giphy.com

You won't hear fowl language coming from this nominee. His speeches are eloquent and tasteful. And when the opposition opens their big mouths…bam!...in goes The Crandidate.

6. His health isn’t in question

Via giphy.com

We all know that turkey is the healthier alternative! Ahem, pay no attention to those fried onion strings.

7. He’d give you the shirt off his back. Literally!

Did you know you can get one of his campaign T-shirts free? Seriously! Visit YesWeCran.com to learn how.
Via yeswecran.com

Did you know you can get one of his campaign T-shirts free? Seriously! Visit YesWeCran.com to learn how.

8. He doesn’t use his own server

Via giphy.com

Instead, The Crandidate relies on numerous friendly folks at MOOYAH to serve him with a smile.

9. He’s never grabbed someone by the poultry

Via giphy.com

No video scandals here. Instead, voters are grabbing him for the yummy flavor he always delivers.

10.

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