How Thirst-Quenching Is Your Pope?

Summer is here. Can your Pope keep you refreshed and energized?

Pope Classic

Via en.wikipedia.org

Street name: Pope John II.

Pro Tip: The pope who made poping cool.

Quechability: 8/10

Diet Pope

Paul Haring / CNS/Paul Haring

Nickname: Pope Benedict "Drake Fan" XVI.

Notes: Popular among cheerleaders, gum-chewers, and moms. Weird aftertaste. Leaves you always wanting Pope Classic.

Quenchability: 5/10

Cherry Pope

Alias: Pope Francis.

Low down: Eco-friendly and vegan. Not going to clog your drain. Utterly delicious. Served at select movie theaters all summer long.

Quenchability: 11/10

Diet Pope With Bacon

Via toptenz.net

Alias: Pope Leo X

Fact: Actually a coke flavor, actually a pope - specifically, the Medici pope who went down in history as the most lavish Catholic holy man of all time. Like anything manipulated to taste like bacon, he just was a rich guy trying too hard to be popular.

Quenchability: 2/10

Pope-a-cola Orange

Via toptenz.net

Alias: Pope Alexander VI, aka Rodrigo Borgia

What You Should Know: This is universally regarded as the worst pope flavor of all time. Do not drink this pope this summer, or any summer. Do not trust this pope with your money or your kids. Do not be surprised if this pope murders you.

Quenchability: 0/10 - requires after-beverage to wash taste out of your mouth