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How Thirst-Quenching Is Your Pope?

Summer is here. Can your Pope keep you refreshed and energized?

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Diet Pope

Paul Haring / CNS/Paul Haring

Nickname: Pope Benedict "Drake Fan" XVI.

Notes: Popular among cheerleaders, gum-chewers, and moms. Weird aftertaste. Leaves you always wanting Pope Classic.

Quenchability: 5/10

Diet Pope With Bacon


Alias: Pope Leo X

Fact: Actually a coke flavor, actually a pope - specifically, the Medici pope who went down in history as the most lavish Catholic holy man of all time. Like anything manipulated to taste like bacon, he just was a rich guy trying too hard to be popular.

Quenchability: 2/10

Pope-a-cola Orange


Alias: Pope Alexander VI, aka Rodrigo Borgia

What You Should Know: This is universally regarded as the worst pope flavor of all time. Do not drink this pope this summer, or any summer. Do not trust this pope with your money or your kids. Do not be surprised if this pope murders you.

Quenchability: 0/10 - requires after-beverage to wash taste out of your mouth

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