back to top

15 Reasons Why Amateur Football Is The Pinnacle Of Sport

You know what? It just is. For these reasons and more, Sunday league and the legions of hobby footballers everywhere are the true superheroes.

Posted on

1. The mad team names.

Team names seem to be a case of "see a thing, then add 'FC' after it", and we couldn't be happier.
Fabidesign / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Team names seem to be a case of "see a thing, then add 'FC' after it", and we couldn't be happier.

2. The rubbish boots.

Anyone can sprint in those laser-cut, space-age cleats the pros wear. What really sorts the men from the boys is a pair of broken black leather boots that fill up with water like two sponges every time it rains.
Flickr/Nadia308 (CC BY-SA) / Via Flickr: nadiapriestley

Anyone can sprint in those laser-cut, space-age cleats the pros wear. What really sorts the men from the boys is a pair of broken black leather boots that fill up with water like two sponges every time it rains.

3. The no boots at all – sometimes.

We've all had to play in trainers at some point, and no one enjoys it, but even the audacity to do it puts its patrons head and shoulders above the rest.
Y2jimbob / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

We've all had to play in trainers at some point, and no one enjoys it, but even the audacity to do it puts its patrons head and shoulders above the rest.

4. The fat bellies.

See, the trouble is with pro footballers these days is that none of them ever look like they've had a pie. Having players that all look like they live/breathe pie is an important part.
Ümit Büyüköz / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

See, the trouble is with pro footballers these days is that none of them ever look like they've had a pie. Having players that all look like they live/breathe pie is an important part.

5. The emphasis on the, um, "individualism".

Everyone loves dribbling, right? You've never seen so much intricate dribbling as when a slightly gangly winger two years younger than everyone else holds onto the ball for five minutes on a cold Thursday night down at the 8-a-side in Aston.
Fuse / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Everyone loves dribbling, right? You've never seen so much intricate dribbling as when a slightly gangly winger two years younger than everyone else holds onto the ball for five minutes on a cold Thursday night down at the 8-a-side in Aston.

6. The terrible pitches.

Who among us has played on a pitch where not only both penalty boxes were filled with sand but it was also littered with large holes that might as well have "Enter ye fellows, ankle snaps here" scrawled on 'em? *everyone raises their hand*
Audio-science / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Who among us has played on a pitch where not only both penalty boxes were filled with sand but it was also littered with large holes that might as well have "Enter ye fellows, ankle snaps here" scrawled on 'em? *everyone raises their hand*

7. The tactics.

"Go out there and express yourselves", "Just try and win the second half", or "I dunno, go run about a bit or something" — take your pick.
Dezin100 / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

"Go out there and express yourselves", "Just try and win the second half", or "I dunno, go run about a bit or something" — take your pick.

8. The brilliant kits.

You are your own master and you fancy an orange kit with random white bits all over it then you're going to get a damn orange kit with damn random white bits all over it.
Thomas Northcut / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

You are your own master and you fancy an orange kit with random white bits all over it then you're going to get a damn orange kit with damn random white bits all over it.

9. The idiot teammates.

You can guarantee that whoever the England captain is now hasn't had to play with a sleepy right-back with dodgy knees and a tendency to not so much "switch off" as to "implode" for quite some time.
Jupiterimages / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

You can guarantee that whoever the England captain is now hasn't had to play with a sleepy right-back with dodgy knees and a tendency to not so much "switch off" as to "implode" for quite some time.

10. The pretty much entire lack of rules half the time.

How's "having a referee who has decided that he's just going to let every foul go because he's had a rough morning" for purity?
Ipggutenbergukltd / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

How's "having a referee who has decided that he's just going to let every foul go because he's had a rough morning" for purity?

11. The lack of sleep.

None of this "sleeping for 13 hours in a hyperbaric chamber" nonsense – we're working with four hours sleep and an emergency fast-food breakfast.
Thinkstock Images / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

None of this "sleeping for 13 hours in a hyperbaric chamber" nonsense – we're working with four hours sleep and an emergency fast-food breakfast.

12. The wind.

IMPOSSIBLE. THE WIND IS IMPOSSIBLE. And yet...
A J James / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

IMPOSSIBLE. THE WIND IS IMPOSSIBLE. And yet...

13. The (lack of) warm-up.

"I don't need to do no warm-up, mate. That's just a waste of time. I could be eating leftover pizza or loudly berating managers on a football radio call-in."
Ximagination / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk|Adult|67257|Age/f=CPIHV/p=3/s=DynamicRank

"I don't need to do no warm-up, mate. That's just a waste of time. I could be eating leftover pizza or loudly berating managers on a football radio call-in."

14. The goals.

Funnily enough, we've never seen a goal in the big leagues where a daisy-cutter free kick bounces in off a discarded plastic bottle or one of those weird square posts.
Cookelma / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Funnily enough, we've never seen a goal in the big leagues where a daisy-cutter free kick bounces in off a discarded plastic bottle or one of those weird square posts.

15. The pace of the game.

This is chess, not checkers.
Stefan Singer / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

This is chess, not checkers.

Scored a goal to be proud of? Head to Budweiser and submit your dream goal for a chance for it to be featured on TV.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

25+ T&Cs apply. Closes 04.05.15