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Reasons Twenty-Somethings Are Freaking Out

These aren’t total guesses. These are real life.

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  • 1. My apartment is too small for a group hang.

  • 2. Why do I have to shower every day?

  • 3. I want to get to work at noon and leave at 3.

  • 4. I want an entire selection of new clothes in my closet. Now.

  • 5. My boss caught me on Gchat… Twice… In an hour.

  • 6. My friend asked me for advice on her boyfriend.

  • 7. My other friend ignored my advice on his girlfriend.

  • 8. I can’t just color with crayons all day.

  • 9. My last date was with my DVR to clear out some of that 70%.

  • 10. Why can’t I be a Vice President now?

  • 11. My internal clock wakes me up at 10 AM now instead of noon.

  • 12. I used to be able to climb these stairs.

  • 13. “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere†isn’t a legitimate reason to day drink anymore.

  • 14. Everyone gets paid more than I do.

  • 15. I am not Lena Dunham.

  • 16. I AM Lena Dunham’s character on ‘Girls.’

  • 17. I don’t feel like cooking. I can’t afford to order out. I’m so hungry.

  • 18. I will never buy back-to-school supplies for myself again.

  • 19. My favorite jeans have a tear in the crotch.

  • 20. I want to lose 20 pounds. But I want to eat that cupcake.

  • 21. Got a promotion. Everyone still makes more than I do.

  • 22. My friend’s friend changed the password on her HBO Go account.

  • 23. So after four years in the “real world,†I don’t get a diploma?