Reasons Twenty-Somethings Are Freaking Out

These aren’t total guesses. These are real life.

• 1. My apartment is too small for a group hang.

• 2. Why do I have to shower every day?

• 3. I want to get to work at noon and leave at 3.

• 4. I want an entire selection of new clothes in my closet. Now.

• 5. My boss caught me on Gchat… Twice… In an hour.

• 6. My friend asked me for advice on her boyfriend.

• 7. My other friend ignored my advice on his girlfriend.

• 8. I can’t just color with crayons all day.

• 9. My last date was with my DVR to clear out some of that 70%.

• 10. Why can’t I be a Vice President now?

• 11. My internal clock wakes me up at 10 AM now instead of noon.

• 12. I used to be able to climb these stairs.

• 13. “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere†isn’t a legitimate reason to day drink anymore.

• 14. Everyone gets paid more than I do.

• 15. I am not Lena Dunham.

• 16. I AM Lena Dunham’s character on ‘Girls.’

• 17. I don’t feel like cooking. I can’t afford to order out. I’m so hungry.

• 18. I will never buy back-to-school supplies for myself again.

• 19. My favorite jeans have a tear in the crotch.

• 20. I want to lose 20 pounds. But I want to eat that cupcake.

• 21. Got a promotion. Everyone still makes more than I do.

• 22. My friend’s friend changed the password on her HBO Go account.

• 23. So after four years in the “real world,†I don’t get a diploma?