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9 Ways to Scam Yourself a Valentine

It’s that time of the year again! But this year instead of watching a movie alone and eating a rice pudding you found in the fridge you’re *WHAT*? SCAMMING YOURSELF A VALENTINE. Believe the lie. Become the lie. Because your biggest crime - is stealing their heart.

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1. Print out a picture of your target. Print out a stock picture of a detective. Get red string and connect the two pictures.


This will help put you in the mindset of connecting the pieces to getting their heart. Print out a picture of a heart too.

7. Buy enough scented candles to form a circle. Go to your nearest public park and light them. Print out posters telling people you’re doing it.

8. Last resort. Wear your favorite old halloween costume and build a blanket fort. Make some cut out hearts and pasta.


Then dial a random number and whoever says “hello?” just tell them you love them and hang up.

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