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9 Ways to Scam Yourself a Valentine

It’s that time of the year again! But this year instead of watching a movie alone and eating a rice pudding you found in the fridge you’re *WHAT*? SCAMMING YOURSELF A VALENTINE. Believe the lie. Become the lie. Because your biggest crime - is stealing their heart.

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1. Print out a picture of your target. Print out a stock picture of a detective. Get red string and connect the two pictures.

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This will help put you in the mindset of connecting the pieces to getting their heart. Print out a picture of a heart too.

2. Do 10 situps. The surge of adrenaline will rush to your abs and help you think of ways to scam someone out of their love.

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Plus that sheen of sweat is a major #GloUp.

3. Get a profile on a social app like Friendsy, then list the maximum number of interests someone could match you on.

Via whimsyisforever.com

Don’t love Frisbee golf AND wine-tasting events? You do now.

4. Wigs.

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Get at least 3 wigs.

5. Buy a balloon and candy from your local pharmacy.

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When the pharmacist asks who it’s for just say “you” and give it to them.

6. Walk into the street wearing the hottest thing you own and ask to interview people about their dogs.

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Whoever has the coolest dog is now your valentine.

7. Buy enough scented candles to form a circle. Go to your nearest public park and light them. Print out posters telling people you’re doing it.

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Whoever shows up and enters the circle first is your valentine.

8. Last resort. Wear your favorite old halloween costume and build a blanket fort. Make some cut out hearts and pasta.

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Then dial a random number and whoever says “hello?” just tell them you love them and hang up.

9. Take a bubble bath and don’t text any boys.

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Because the best scam is caring for yourself and keeping your roster on ice.

Friendsy is the #1 social app exclusively for college students.

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