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I Wish I had been more I was 15. Also at 16 or at 20. I was so worried about being myself, I had to like a movie because I'm the kind of person who likes that kind of film, listen to a music because I grew up listening to the band and it was a part of me, to use a purple blouse because that was always my favorite color, writing poetry because I wanted to be the poet type.I worried every day in such a short life to be myself, when I hardly knew who I was, when I hardly know who I am. Lost count of the times I sat in the bus to class, or on the plane, preventing me from moving or breathing because I had to be less than I am, because deep down never wanted to be, had to feel lean as always envisioned.I worried immensely not to let anyone see me with curly wires, because God I not free to be smooth as ever envisioned. I dyed my hair black, changed the tone when out of fashion. I asked my boyfriend (who see me better than I saw myself) which enamel color should usar.Perguntei my colleague if I had understood the matter correctly. I asked my mother if that skirt called too much attention to my ass. I asked my sisters to teach me to comb my hair properly or pass makeup to be cute.I asked my friends excused my clumsiness, my way of talking and to forgive me in advance, possible offenses and stepped on eggs. Still floor sometimes. Not allow me to skin the drawings that both dreamed, when I did not allow them to see. I cried changes in film because I did not want to embarrass themselves. I held the loud laugh because sissy does scandal.I did not tell anyone my fascination with piano and also rap, would not be inconsistent. I did not tell I read Harper Lee and Nicholas Sparks in the same year because it did not want to regress. I lent pieces from me to anyone who asked for help supplement those in need (never seen those pieces again, if you have seen, please return). I have to be myself, it was to be who others would. Too bad nobody told before that to be you, you only need to be.
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