1. Basically, Lifetime movies are simultaneously the best and the worst.
Do lifetime movies have the most predictable plots? Totally. Is the acting terrible? 100 percent. Did I watch 6 of them back to back today? Absolutely. Did I love every second of it? Damn right I did.
2. And it's truly frustrating not being able to look away from a terrible movie.
Somehow my tv got stuck on Lifetime movies and DAMN these movies are cheesy AF but I NEED to know how they end LOL
3. Like, you already know what's gonna happen, but it just doesn't matter.
all lifetime movies are the same the baby sitter is fucking the dad, mistress is whack, or crazy gf/bf but imma still watch it and be shook
4. It doesn't matter if you came in right during the middle of it.
You ever walk past the tv while a lifetime movie was on & end up watching the whole thing w ya mom
5. Because pretty soon, they'll take you captive.
The three stages of watching a Lifetime movie: Flips channel: “well this looks lame” 15 minutes in: “what the hell is this garbage crap movie” 30 minutes in: “HOLY SHIT SO THE HUSBAND WAS ACTUALLY CHEATING THE WIFE JUST HAD DEMENTIA AND THE SON IS ACTUALLY AN ALIEN FUCK”
6. Let's not forget about the titles.
Lifetime Movie titles are so direct. "My Stepdaughter Killed A Cheerleader" would be about a stepdaughter killing a cheerleader.
7. Straightforward and no nonsense.
Lifetime movie titles be killing me. It's one movie coming on tonight called "You Killed My Mother". Y'all just told the whole plot 😂😂😂
8. And the network's themed weekends are... something.
tf is going on over at the lifetime movie network
9. The characters will have you yelling at your TV screen.
I walked into my house and the first thing I heard “was no no no you bitch” my mom is screaming at lifetime movies again 😂😂😂😂
10. And they'll have you shaking your head.
If I talked to my mum like the kids on these lifetime movies talked to theirs id be dead by now
11. They just never learn.
“You haven’t known him that long. Don’t you think this is moving a little fast?” - the best friend in every Lifetime movie, 20 minutes in.
12. They never listen to the warnings you give them.
lifetime movies are so wild this girl fell in love w a boy who been hiding in her attic 😭😭😭 girl if you don’t call the police
13. And they'll have you stressed for a good 90 minutes.
*Lifetime movie* WOMAN: *independent, wealthy, and has a nut allergy* Oh honey where will we go on our honeymoon? MAN:*kind of attractive but also ugly, whom she just met a month ago* How about a peanut farm? WOMAN: Oh darling it’s perfect
14. But at least they teach the audience a few lessons.
Lifetime movies teach you not to trust the wo(man) next door, the boss, nobody at the fertility clinic, the ex, the bartender, the taxi driver, the flight attendant. It puts you in a constant state of paranoia😂😂
15. The plots don't always make a lot of sense.
lifetime movies are wild. just turned one on about a women taking the wrong luggage at the airport so the owner of the luggage kidnapped her daughter for revenge. like what..........
16. But every movie pretty much has the same conclusion.
All Lifetime murder movies end the same: 1: Three minute fight between male serial killer& female lead character 2. As the male is about to execute the finishing deathblow w/ a blunt object, someone walks in & shoots him last-second 3. Police officers arrive with blankets& cocoa
17. The Lifetime Movie Network is a wild ride, folks.
Lifetime movies are unmatched. The fighting. The twisted love story. The tragic ending. I LIVE FOR THE MESSINESS. push Brenda down the stairs please. She tried to take your husband & child. Don't let her win Martha!!
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