1. This is your life now: Kids are all right, but right now my DVR is at 95% so I'm going to have to pass.
2. You can’t deal with parents/SO's parents/in-laws, until you’re in your happy place.
3. Why you really showed up to Christmas dinner.
4. Being a functional member of society is out of the question.
5. If you’re really being honest.
6. Get this woman a drink.
7. You only drink from this approved list.
8. Sobriety is overrated.
9. There is only one love in your life.
10. Sleep is a necessity, not an option.
11. It’s just that you’re so good at it.
12. You’re just really focused on your career right now.
13. If you're already in a relationship, your second career is time-consuming too.
14. Because you don't care what anyone thinks.
15. Post-holiday agenda.
16. You’re not a total bitch, exactly.
There's always next year.
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