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21 Lines Every Woman On OkCupid Will Recognize

"Haha and then what?"

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1. The "haha and then what?"

*dials 911* "Yeah, hi, we've got another one."

2. The "I googled 'pick up lines' and found this"

Are you related to Yoda? Because yoda worst.

3. The "let's make this weird"


4. The "I'm desperate"

Asking for a response is a guaranteed way to not get a response.

5. The "I only care about your body and I hope you think that's cute and not sexist AF"

Thanks, I actually traded my voice to a sea witch for them so

Why did I even bother filling out my profile?

6. The "let's see if she has 'daddy issues'"

Tfw you tell a man your dad's age that you're not interested and he tells you "Your father must be so proud of you"

Bonus points if you call me "young lady" or "little girl" at least once.

7. The "just thought you should know"

I am trying not to vomit to your messages tonight just thought you should know.

8. The "hey, it kind of worked for Ted Mosby!"

Step away from the blue french horn.

9. The "I'll bet she likes dad jokes"

It gets jalapeño OkCupid messages apparently

I mean, I do like dad jokes, but that's beside the point.

10. The "she'll never see this coming"

"Are your glasses prescription?" "Yes, why?" "Good, so you can see yourself fucking me?"

Definitely switching to contacts now, thanks.

11. The "I have nothing else going for me"

*uninterested mom voice* that's nice, dear.

And your point is?

12. The "can I watch?"

After the first date: *phone buzzes* Dude: "So, are you into girls at all?" Me:

*throws phone*

13. The "I found this on Reddit"

At least we're already divorced.

14. The "I might be stalking you"

Are you like outside on my fire escape or something??

*closes blinds*

15. The "so, what are you?"

THIS 👏 is not cool. I am not an exotic prize to be collected or won. Go away.

Want to know how dumb you sound when you ask this question?

Paramount Pictures / Via

Yeah. Exactly.

16. The "it's not sexual harassment if you use emoji"

Somehow it's even creepier this way.

17. The "we just want a threesome"

When a couple messages you asking if you can "be discreet"

I did not come here for this.

18. The "I think you're lying about your interests to impress me"

I highly doubt you would ever be a good date.

$10 says you'd spend our entire first date quizzing me.

19. The "I won't bite"

Not really worried about the cup of coffee being the potentially dangerous part of this, bro.

Saying you're not creepy might actually make you more creepy, TBH.

20. The "I'm not even trying anymore"

How often does the extra super direct approach actually work for you?

21. And of course, the "Netflix and chill"

Netflix and find some chill, please.

So, fellas, before you hit us up with a "hey there..."

...just know that we're onto you.

Even OkCupid knows the struggle is real.

Wow, @okcupid, asking the tough questions I see.

Yes. How did you know?

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