The Alphabet According To Karen Walker Of "Will & Grace"
M is for Mood Elevators.
A is for Assface.

Assface [noun]: a person whose face looks like a butt.
B is for Beaverhausen.

Beaverhausen [noun]: where the beaver lives; handy to use as part of an alias.
C is for Chanel.

Chanel [noun]: rich people clothes.
D is for Designated Drinker.

Designated Drinker [noun]: a friend who is never sober.
E is for Emotions.

Emotions [noun]: feelings only weak people experience.
F is for Frosted Glass.

Frosted Glass [noun]: the ideal vessel for a cocktail.
G is for Gin.

Gin [noun]: broth for drunks.
H is for High Road.

High Road [noun]: the route you take when you're high.
I is for Immortal.

Immortal [adjective]: the ability to live forever, usually through a pact with the devil.
J is for Juice Boxes.

Juice Boxes [noun]: cheap wine for adults.
K is for Karen Walker.

Karen Walker [noun]: the oldest, drunkest, most fabulous woman on Earth.
L is for Look.

Look [noun]: the exhausting act of directing one's gaze toward something.
M is for Mood Elevators.

Mood Elevators [noun]: happy pills.
N is for Nobody.

Nobody [noun]: any person who is not Karen Walker.
O is for Outside.

Outside [noun]: a location separate from your mansion.
P is for Pretend.

Pretend [verb]: the act of feigning interest in Grace Adler's life.
Q is for Quack.

Quack [noun]: harsh sound used to shut people up.
R is for Regret.

Regret [verb]: a feeling often associated with alcohol.
S is for Slap.

Slap [verb]: to hit someone with an open hand in order to show them who's boss.
T is for Tact.

Tact [noun]: sensitivity in dealing with humorless people.
U is for Under the Sink.

Under the Sink [noun]: a place to store and find prescription drugs.
V is for Vodka.

Vodka [noun]: alcohol, for when there is no gin.
W is for What's This?

What's This [phrase]: a question to which Grace rarely has an answer.
X is for Xanax.

Xanax [noun]: anxiety medication used by Karen as a security blanket.
Y is for You Know.

You Know [phrase]: a way to clue your friends in on your hobbies.
Z is for Zoo.

Zoo [noun]: a place to poke bears.